Melancholy In Monticello

What were they thinking?

2011-12-18T08:22:00.009-06:00

Really I don't know and I figure they didn't either. Of whom do I speak? The parks commission of course. These unelected unofficials who have decided to ask the city council for another sack of nails to finish the coffin of economic ruin we seem to be building. Folks understand something, years of poor city planning and pure neglect are coming back to haunt us. Water lines are breaking constantly, streets are in disrepair, old water meters are costing the city thousands or more in revenue daily. Should funding for the community center project be limited? Well considering the fact that we have fireplugs that won't supply water and sewer lines and water lines leaking everywhere I say of course. The center is a great thing but let me explain something our old water lines are asbestos coated, they break and crumble and leak and push that asbestos into.........you guessed it your house. Good old asbestos on tap in thousands of homes waiting to be consumed by your precious snowflakes. That fireplug on your street or in your yard, yeah about that it may work, it may. It is time to do some serious remodeling. We are living in a house of cards that hasn't been maintained since the invention of the wheel. Did you know that when a new business builds here in town and gets ready to tie in to city services folks just kind of guess where the sewer and water lines that will support the load are? Did you know when Huddle House came here no one knew that the only sewer line that was large enough to hands them was on Hyatt street, that's right not under the highway twenty feet away but under Hyatt street two hundred yards away. Think they would have liked to know that ahead of time? There used to be people who worked at the water department that could walk into a field stand on a buried water or sewer line and tell you everything about it. You know what they call all those old timers now? DEAD. Go look at the old hand drawn service line maps if you really want a laugh. We need a real remodel folks. GPS mapping of water and sewer services. Replacement of broken safety equipment. Water meters that log usage correctly so the city can get paid. Wonder how long it would take to make what is needed to fill the gap on funding for the community center if our water meters were billing at one hundred percent instead of the current average of forty percent. Hell the company that wants to do the work said they could make us a profit immediately and are willing to pay us hundreds of thousands back if it didn't. Sounds pretty confident to me. Lets get this stuff done. it only gets more expensive the longer we wait.

Well Well Well

2011-12-14T19:38:00.002-06:00

Deep subject yes I know. So lets see what has been going on lately. 250,000 more for the Sadie Johnson center, yeah just right them a check. The main opponent of the location of the new fire station has now moved her "historical ass" from her "historical home", and we still can't get it done. Drew Central Principal arrested. Local Judge arrested and censured. Seems that the "destructified" building on the square is under repair finally, should be a good view from the rear view mirrors of our local industry as they hastily abandon the sinking ship that is our lovely hamlet here in South Arkansas. Does it seem strange to anyone that a certain person announces his candidacy and generosity in the same week, or should I say is it obvious to anyone else. And what has happened to our mayor? Can't even break a tie vote. Suck it up buttercup, you have to at some point piss someone off. Read this blog if you don't believe me. So as you can see I have returned if just for a moment, leave a comment or a question. What would like me to talk about? I'm out of ideas.

Once upon a time.....

2011-03-29T21:32:00.002-05:00

Once upon a time there was a small town in Arkansas, we will call this town Montijello. Now Montijello had many problems. It had a fire department that was unsafe to sit in. It had a police department that leaked like a submarine with a screen door. Now this city was governed by a group of people who spent thousands of dollars to decorate the city square for Christmas and then two weeks later dug up the entire square with a beautiful Christmasy backhoe. So needless to say the town had issues. Now it isn't the fact that these wise men and women decided to spend all this money on a piece of property that the city doesn't even own. It isn't that they spent all this money for beautiful decorations for something they knew only a few weeks later would be a construction site. No folks this wasn't the problem. See with everything that is going on the real problem are the residents of Montijello themselves. See with all this happening the citizens of Montijello were outraged. Not at the misuse of their tax dollars, not at the yet unfinished and probably over budget splash pad project. Not at the outrageously expensive pavilion with air conditioned bathrooms and free internet. No they are outraged yes outraged I tell you because their beloved stop lights have been removed. The injustice, the madness they exclaimed. We must request more studies we must ask the highway department to tell us no again cause we didn't get it the third time. Well I must ask someone to draw it for them in crayon. CITIZENS OF MONTIJELLO HEAR MY HUMBLE WORDS. GET THE HELL OVER IT AND MOVE ON. There are problems in Montijello that could not be fixed by a thousand stoplights. It is part of our history you say. Well good, you will have something to look back on when this town dries up an blows away like Burlington Industries. And for all of you who seem to be scared of a certain woman on main street, don't worry she is just mad because some body dropped a house on her sister and stole her ruby slippers. Build the damn fire department where you spent the money to build it for the love of god. Yes beloved Montijello where a church can build a building over a city street. Where you can play softball in the pool because it won't hold water and swim at the softball field because it will. A town with the need to preserve its past that runs so deep that it will sacrifice its future. Welcome to Montijello, where fast food places go to die.

If you build it......

2011-03-29T21:02:00.003-05:00

Wow and boy howdy. New Mayor and same ole story. Well I had hoped that things would change and for the most part they have. Now we must have softball fields. If you build it they will come, and we will be rude to them and they will leave. What is going on with business owners these days. Recently I was attempting to purchase a vehicle and as bad as the economy is you know I couldn't give anyone my money. Let me open my theater. Me: Yes I would like to purchase a vehicle today. Them: We can finance a vehicle for you. Me: No I would like to pay cash. Them: I don't think we have anything in your price range. Me: Well you haven't asked me what my price range is. Them: I don't think we have anything for you. I called one gentleman who had a truck for sale and told him that I had cash in my hand and would not even try to talk him down I would pay his asking price. He said he would call me when the truck got out of the detail shop. I still have not heard from him and that was last April. But there is one dealer in town that had no issue with cash. Lucky him because that is what I had. So TWELVE THOUSAND DOLLARS LATER there is a happy me with a nice bright red truck and a very happy car dealer with a nice down payment on a house sitting on his desk. Maybe it was the way I was dressed, I had taken off work early it was warm I had been sweating and I had been working so I can only guess they took one look at me and said we don't have any 99 dollar cars. Well good for me cause I didn't want one. So yes please shop the big name dealers first, then go down to Dickerson's and get you a vehicle. They will have no problem taking your money.

Haunted Houses

2010-10-29T18:47:00.004-05:00

I don't like them. That pretty much covers that. Well, maybe I should elaborate somewhat. I don't like crowds, I don't like ghosts, and I don't like wildaghouls or wookalars. I'm not afraid of the dark I am afraid of what is in the dark. Supposedly there is nothing in the dark that isn't there in the light, but the important difference is that in the light I can see it coming. See when I hear something in the light I can look over and see if it is about to eat me and then I have the opportunity to decide if I am going to let it eat me or protest. In the dark my choices are limited. If I hear something in the dark the probability of protest is limited to whatever time it takes for me to start running tripping over something else I can't see and rendering myself unconscious or as things in the dark call it "tasty". Of course I also firmly believe that evil will find you soon enough without any help from you. Now I am an avid hunter and being that is the case I am often in the woods before light arrives and after light goes to sleep. I know I should be a bit uneasy and sometimes I am. Every hunter has been from time to time. If they say they have not they are what things in the dark call "big fat stinking tasty liars." See for those of you that do not hunt there is a very interesting phenomenon that occurs when you can't see. The volume control of your hearing triples and a squirrel running through the woods sounds like..........well....... a wildaghoul. It is funny sometimes before light breaks when you hear something moving through the leaves and it can only be Bigfoot or an escaped axe murderer and then dawn breaks and it is a squirrel, not even a big squirrel or an armadillo. Nothing sounds more like an entire panzer division invading your hunting blind than a medium sized totally oblivious to your presence armadillo. Oh well, have to get to bed. Going hunting tomorrow morning.

You Are Nothing Without A Facebook

2010-10-05T09:31:00.002-05:00

Wow, it is amazing how social networking has grown and evolved through the last twenty years. I still remember mail, party lines, and actually talking face to face. I remember when cell phones did not have texting you still actually called someone if you had a question. I don't have a Facebook page. I used too. It is stupid. When did the time arrive when we decided that our self worth was based on how many friends we have on Facebook. I love people that will sit back and complain about how the government wants to put tracking chips under our skin, in our credit cards as well as our money then post every step they take throughout the day on Facebook for the world and of course the government to see. Now if you sit at home all day with nothing to do but gossip and stir up controversy, well the Facebook is for you. For the rest of us who still leave the house now and then well not so much. See I still enjoy the excitement of seeing someone you haven't talked to in forever and standing on the street catching up. I find it interesting that people you have as friends on Facebook and talk to regularly from your living room are the same people that walk in to the same resturaunt you are eating in and you hope they don't come over to your table. So I suppose that I am in a very silent minority. What else is new?

Something a Bit different.

2010-03-07T15:44:00.002-06:00

Well I have been cruising through the local blogs and it seems that the few that have been updated lately are all about religion. Well, this one isn't. Now don't misunderstand, just because God and I have decided to see other people does not mean that we don't still talk from time to time. But, religion is not what I do. So, what do I do you ask. Well we will just have to see about that now won't we.

Self Explanatory

2010-03-07T15:31:00.000-06:00

I'M BAAAAAACK!!!!!! More to follow soon.

I Think I Might Be Overthinking...I Think.

2009-05-03T19:39:00.002-05:00

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?

"Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

A Message To The President.

2009-04-29T17:44:00.002-05:00

Many things come to an end. Some because you want them to others no matter what you do to prevent them. I have some very good friends, two to be exact, and soon they will be moving on. Their lives are about to take them in directions far away from me. It is not what I would like to happen but I cannot be selfish. I will miss them and will think about them often. I can only hope that every once in a while they will think of me too. And now to the actual post:

As many of you know and some of you may not it is customary for an outgoing President to leave a note for his successor. A few words of insight or wisdom to welcome the new Commander in Chief. I thought the other day what would I write? What wisdom could in bestow? Well, let us find out shall we?

To ________________________.

As I sit here looking out the window upon the January beauty of the capital of this great nation, I think back too all those who have come before us and all of those who will come after. I know it is customary to leave a few insights to help you on your first day but I think that I could better serve you in this way. After all of the pomp and circumstance of the Inauguration begins to drain away the reality of what is before you will be cast upon you quickly. If there is one thing that I can tell you that you may not have realized this I think may be the most important. Democracy is living breathing creature. It will fight you when you think that you can fight no more and go silent when you are prepared for battle. It lives in the billions of faces in which you will see in your time here. It is like water. Fickle, free flowing, it will make you think that it is weak while the whole time it is carving stone and moving mountains and glaciers. Democracy freely carves its way across this great nation and not unlike water randomly goes underground and sprays forth hundreds of thousands of miles away with steam, passion, and all the fury it can muster. While it quenches your most desperate thirst in one part of the nation in the other it is destructive and does all it can to undermine everything you have built. But democracy, at all times, is beautiful. It is beautiful when the sun sets upon it, when the moon reflects from it and when the sun rises once again. It reflects the faces of all those who look upon it. Remember those who came before us and think of those who will follow. And, never forget that you are a guest here. In closing, Mr. President, the most you can ever hope is that you will do a better job than those that came before you, and we can only hope that we did not make it easy for you.

Sincerely,

J

lower case posts

2009-04-20T20:35:00.000-05:00

ok. just so everyone understands. some of my posts will be in all lower case because i am posting from my mobile and it is just easier. now with that said, let's get dow to brass tacks. what does that even mean? my posting has been irregular and my two or so readers are getting irritated so maybe this will let me bring you my witty wisdom more often. so now for something from the complete idiot files. i see where a music teacher in hamburg was arrested for letting underage girls play his trombone. i guess it was only a matter of time till it hit nearby. this stuff went on less when i was in school or maybe it didn't but now with cameraphones and texting these idiots are just getting caught more often. i mean if you send pictures of yourself or texts to a twelve year old their parents just might see them. and anyway, why do eight year olds and twelve year olds need cellphones anyway. are their lives that busy that they need to keep in touch that much. are we going to have to pass a law that says no texting while operating a Big Wheel. be sure to use a handsfree device while drowning naked barbies during bathtime(you know your kids did it too). but in today's information age kids are getting dumber or maybe it is the adults. listen it isn't rocket science, if you are a young attractive female teacher and you are sleeping with a twelve to fourteen year old male student, he is going to tell his friends, and truthfully probably his enemies too. he is a young boy he doesnt know when to keep his mouth shut. and he wants everyone to know, i mean for young males it's like a race to see who can grow up first and if you not only grow up first but you grow up with the cute young teacher that four out of five of your friends want to grow up with too, of course he is going to tell them that's guys for ya, and we don't get smarter as we get older either. so for those of you out there who are thinking about it don't. if you are doing it stop. and i am not even going to comment on the recent event locally other than to say his God was paying attention even though many others weren't it seems.

See, I have this cat.

2009-04-14T16:05:00.002-05:00

Ok, I have this cat, a black cat named Snoball. Not only is it a black cat named Snoball, but he is also a he. Now, when I first got this cat we were best buds. Now he barely tolerates me. He yells at me all the time, stays gone for days if you let him. Only comes back when he needs food or if it is too wet outside or cold. Maybe he has finally realized that he is a black cat as well as male and I named him Snoball. Maybe there is some animosity building down deep in his soul. Maybe he is a teenager in cat years. His activities somewhat sound like a teenager. Of course when other people are around he is the definition of cute and adorable, but as soon as they leave, spawn of satan or catan or whatever. Who knows. Maybe cats are just that way. I guess you would have to be that self centered if you were a cat. I say that without having any real way to know of course, it just seems that way. But, for the record. If one day you read that something terrible has happened to me and there are no suspects, no signs of forced entry, and nothing stolen........well.......you know who did it.

On Friends....

2009-04-13T07:58:00.000-05:00

I have two friends in this world. I call them friends anyway; I can only suppose that they feel the same way about me. I know they are friends because they laugh at my jokes even when they aren’t that funny. I fancy myself a comedian, now how others feel about it I will never really know but, that is how I see myself anyway. We see each other about once a week on average and talk to each other with about the same frequency. One of my friends is into snakes reptiles and other utterly icky things and the other is into backing up without looking. Now that my be hard for you to understand the whole backing up thing but you weren’t there and you aren’t my friend so there is no need to explain. If my friends read this they will know exactly what I mean. Also one of my friends has trouble walking, seeing doors, and removing themselves from small bathrooms, but, they are still my friends. Now my friends have other friends so I am not their best friend but they are mine because I don’t have any others. Maybe these are the only two people I haven’t betrayed in some way. Or maybe I just grew up and became the person I am now before I had the opportunity to screw it up, either way they are my friends. Oh, by the way, it hasn’t been too long since I did the growing up thing so please take that in to consideration. I am not a person that needs a lot of friends, just a few really good ones and that is good enough for me. Luckily, I have been blessed with exactly that. I have noticed lately though that I don’t really fit in with their crowd but that doesn’t seem to bother them too much so lucky me. Luckily my friends and I have all been blessed with the same gift…..the ability to see the humor in ourselves and the complete stupidity in the population at large. Maybe that is why we are friends. So, Gerry and Tephie I say, thanks for everything.

Just A Reminder

2009-04-13T07:57:00.000-05:00

Now I usually don’t do things like this but I thought that it was necessary because there is a valuable lesson that needs to be learned here. Many months ago the wonderful shadow government of the lovely city was trying to and succeeded to pass a tax issue. Now anyone who read this site realized that I was not against the tax but against the fact that there had been no attempt to specify why we needed it. I also remember stating that many promises were being made and many threats were being made as well to get this tax passed. Now I do not plan to sit here and go through each individual post, but if you don’t believe me you are more than welcome too. They are all still available for reading. But, I will touch on a few key issues that I raised and we will see where everything stands. First I stated at one point that the pro-tax crowd was traveling around talking to many fixed income citizens and telling them that if this tax did not pass their water rates would quickly increase and soon they would have to decide between water and food or medicine. I stated that even if the tax passes the water rates would increase. Well, guess what? Read the paper lately? Looked at your bill? How quickly we forget. I also stated that promises for a new pool at Jordan Park were being made. I stated that no pool would be built. Been swimming at Jordan Park Lately? Remember the article in the paper stating that a coalition of east side residents had come to the city council to call in the promises. They got lights, a sidewalk I think and maybe a few other things but a pool….nope. Will there ever be one? Doubt it. I believe that one of the city council members stated openly that they had promised them a pool. I think the statement was something to the effect of we promised "these people" a pool. A poor choice of words from someone who taught English for many years but ok she wasn’t a history teacher so I can understand it. Now, I am doing this from memory so the only part of the quote that I remember exactly is the "these people" part, but I think I am pretty close. If I am not I apologize but the fact remains folks were promised a pool, you know, I know, they know and they didn’t get one. I think the mayor even after they asked about the pool they were promised piped up with something along the lines of "how about a community pool at W.C. Whaley, he was still hanging on to hope at that time. Now excluding the area around the square, because that is a state highway and the state did all that, has your street improved? Now if you are one of the friends of the council members that has called in a debt and got your street repaved or your sidewalk repaired, you don’t get a vote, because you are one of the people I am talking about anyway. The bottom line is, the fire department is still a wreck, police department as well, streets, no pool at Jordan Park, water rates going up, because they couldn’t use the tax revenue to prevent it, they knew that and I knew that I was just hoping you would investigate on your own and then you would have known that but you didn’t and they weren’t about to tell you, but in the near future you are going to see some real shenanigans. They will try to tell you that building it will save the city money. But, what they are looking for is their Lake Monticello. See, former Mayor West can drive out to the lake anytime he wants with his grandchildren and say "I did this." The question is do you want them to be able to do that at your expense. Soon you will have to decide.

On Bailouts....

2009-04-13T07:56:00.000-05:00

Man oh man. What I could say about bailouts. Probably nothing you haven’t heard already but maybe it is time to get rid of the big words and just call it what it is. Here is my analogy. You and a complete stranger are in a boat. You are thirty feet from shore in sixty feet of water. You both have shotguns. Someone has painted a bulls-eye with words shoot here in the bottom of the boat right in the middle. Now you both know that the right thing to do is not to shoot a hole in the boat. Now the complete stranger fire two rounds of buckshot right through the center of the bulls-eye and the boat starts to sink. Now, here is the real meat of the whole thing. You acted responsibly, you didn’t shoot, the boat is sinking and no matter what you do it is going to sink because once its starts it isn’t going to stop till it’s on the bottom. Do you A. Wait for someone else to come along and save you. B. Swim ashore and save yourself because you don’t know this person and they are the ones that acted without responsibility anyway. C. Bail out a boat that is going to sink anyway because the person in the boat who caused all of this isn’t going to pitch in and help. We gave billions to the car industry, they are filing bankruptcy, we give billions to finance companies and they gave bonuses and took vacations. Now everyone wonders why all this is happening. I know why. Here it is. In this country we have chosen a mentality that first place second place and third place…is the same thing. Folks, there has to be a winner. There has to be a loser. This mentality that everyone who participates gets a trophy is killing us all. We reward failure with ribbons, trophies, and billions. We reward non-performance with vacations and bonuses. I saw a kid with a ninth place ribbon the other day. Remember the days when if you didn’t win you didn’t get a trophy. The days when if you didn’t do your job you got fired? What if the Olympics said that everyone who participated got a medal? There is a harsh reality. Not everybody wins. We reward non performance, and those that succeed are rarely heard about unless they are riding a bike or running a football. Folks: failure builds character. If you lose it makes you feel bad and you don’t like feeling bad, so you try harder and harder until you win and then you feel good, and you like feeling good so you win again and again. We rewarded a President that was not performing with a second term just because he scared us into thinking we were all going to die in some terrorist cataclysm if we didn’t. Are we safer? Do you feel safer? Or do you feel broke and homeless. Yeah homeless is safer. I have always believed that.

You Don't Normally See Them In Herds Like That....

2009-04-07T07:58:00.002-05:00

Recently I was enjoying coffee and sodas with the rest of the members of AIS, when a peculiar thing began to occur around us. I became acutely aware that we were witnessing an event that very few people get to witness in the wild. There is a species of animal running around out there that few have ever seen. You have heard of them, maybe seen a picture, but we had the pleasure of seeing this species in the wild, unconstrained by fences or basement walls. They are easily identified by their pasty complextions and obvious vitamin deficiency. The species is known as male-us-nevergonnagetlaidus. Now where in normal circumstances this species is found only in dark rooms or basements, usually in the parents houses, warming themselves by the soft glow of their broadband connections, and communicating in the dark and secretive language of Halo, or the even more secretive World of Warcraft, this species is rarely seen by the just everyday guy on the street. But here is the beauty of it, not only did I get the opportunity to actually see one of these elusive creatures, I witnessed a herd of them. Yes folks, a herd...I was giddy as you might imagine. It seems that the herd was brought out of hiding, in broad daylight no less, by their animalistic desire to take up all the booths in the restaurant, play Pokemon or some other ridiculous thing and not make any purchases. Please ladies and gentlemen if you happen upon one of these herds do not approach them slowly back away, do not run. If you are female, carry on as if nothing is wrong.....they don't know what you are anyway, and they are probably just as scared of you as you are of them.

PRETTY GOOD MONEY

2007-11-30T10:20:00.000-06:00

Ok this one brought me out of retirement. It seems that one of our city council members feels that our city police officers, firefighters, etc., make "Pretty Good Money." He remembers when city employees made a couple of thousand dollars a year. Yeah, he also remembers when a pack of gum was a nickel, and you could pay the doctor with some turnips from the garden and a couple of chickens. Excuse me sir, ask Officer George Strain if he was making pretty good money as he was being run over. Ask other officers if they were making pretty good money as they were being trasported to the hospital after their bones were broken and their heads concussed from fighting with a steroided up lunatic. May I invite you to stand for thirty minutes in the middle of the night in a three thousand degree oven. That is what you ask your firefighters to do when your citizen's house is on fire. Hey I will give you one officer's salary for a year if you would be willing to drive around eight hours a day for a month, in which time I will randomly assault you or shoot at you without any warning just because you are wearing the uniform. Have we got a deal? Didn't think so. Did you know that it is a proven fact that stress causes health problems? Oh yeah, and water is wet if you didn't know that either. I wonder how officer Strain's wife's health was affected as she worried for her husband's health. And, what about the other wives and children who worry about their husbands and fathers? How is their health affected. I challenge you sir to give up one terms salary and benefits for being a council member and use that money to pay for one officer's insurance. I mean really, it isn't like they are risking their lives or anything is it? Oh, and by the way........ well maybe later.

A Diversion by Subversion

2007-08-12T19:50:00.000-05:00

Well many things have been going on in my life lately and I apologize for not writing as often but I felt I needed a diversion from everything tonight so here I am with a little Diversion by Subversion.

You probably wonder what that means. Well I have been called subversive. Yes little ole me is basically a traitor. I have given away secrets to the enemy. What secrets you ask? Knowledge. Who is the enemy? You are.

Now first let me apologize for something. I coined a new word several weeks ago and it has ruffled some feathers. I invented the acronym LERG, for League of Extraordinarily Rich Gentlemen. It has ruffled a few feathers. I will explain.

I have received complaints that not everyone who is for the tax is rich. Gotcha

I have received complaints that not everyone who is for the tax is male. Point taken.

I will get back to this in a moment.

I must say I am disappointed in our local paper for their obvious lack of ethical reporting. They too have swayed to the advertisers which are the people who want the tax more than anyone else. Banks, etc. etc., of course that is obvious so I'm not telling you anything you can't figure out, just look at the advertisements.

So now back to the League.

I was told by my Honors English teacher many years ago that your ability to recognize sarcasm is a direct reflection of your intelligence. I believe that statement. Many others do too. So I wonder what it says when the people who will be spending your money can't recognize it when it slaps them in the face. What does that say to me? It says to me that the rich and poor, male and female, people who cannot recognize sarcasm are spending your money.

Now to the Mayors letter to the editor. It states that we should listen to the paper and no one else for information on the tax. The problem is that if people really read the paper and believe them the tax will not pass. The newspaper shows that money has been spent on day to day operations and expenses and not on really improving anything. Way to prove my point Advance, and thank you again.

I find it interesting that the pro tax crowd have not picked on the facts of my posts. I know very well that the letter to the editor from the Mayor was talking about me when he said "other sources", but no one can come up with one specific instance when I was untruthful or inaccurate in my statements. Heck, the newspaper has done a wonderful job of showing how poorly your money was spent. It also shows how much money is going to entities of the city that have the same job. Why are we funding the MEDC and the Chamber of Commerce and their jobs are basically the same thing. How is it that we gave 45,000 dollars to the animal shelter and every week they are asking for donations of food and houses and selling televisions to finance their operation? The newspaper is proving many points for me.

So to the men and women, the poor and the rich that have a problem with the acronym LERG. Build a bridge and get over it. But I must in the interest of fairness come up with an acronym that includes everyone. So here are the choices I will let my readers choose.

1. Pro-taxers no factsers.

2. League of Extraordinarily Middle to Upper Class Gentlepersons.

3. League of Non Sarcasm Recognizing Economic Class Encompassing Gender Non Specific Social Upstarts.

Do not call me subversive because I ask questions. Do not ever tell me I don't love Monticello, you upper class Donald Trump wannabe's, just because you have built your castle's on the sand and are slowly watching them slide into the sink hole that is your own lack of fiscal responsibility. If you love Monticello so much how can you not listen to it's residents. I live here, I will pay the tax if it passes, why am I not allowed to speak about it? And YES THIS IS A NEW TAX!!!!!!!! I don't care what anyone else says including the Mayor. If the old tax runs out, and another takes its place, that replacement is a NEW TAX. If I run out of bread and go get more is it the same bread? Just because you strategically replace the word "old" with "existing" so as to avoid the old/new designation does not change anything. If my "EXISTING" loaf of bread runs out I will go to the store and buy a "NEW" loaf of freaking bread. You must think we are all idiots.

Oh, by the way, One reason I have not been blogging is because I was giving the pro-tax crowd the opportunity to take me up on my challenge. I challenged any Pro-taxer to debate me one on one in private or otherwise and convince me the tax was a good thing without fear of it being mentioned here. To date--------no takers. I find it interesting that the pro taxers feel that this site is enough of a threat to tell you not to listen to me, but when the opportunity was given to sway my opinion and use this site to push their issue........ silence.

In closing, the funniest part of all of this. I never went in to this thinking the tax would not pass. I never thought I could affect it in any way. I am still not sure that I have. I went into this for three reasons.

1. To expose who really runs things around here.

2. Because I truly believe what I have been saying and the questions I have been asking deserve to be heard.

3. Because not only is it my right, it is my duty as a citizen of this community to ask these questions and make these statements.

Well I have accomplished all three. Want to know who runs things. Look where the signs are posted for the tax, and who paid for the advertisements in the newspaper pushing the tax.

I still believe these questions should be addressed but they never have and never will be. (people are to busy pouting and getting red in the face)

And I believe I have done my duty.

Oh and one more reason I did this....... for fun. I don't care if this thing passes or not.

I accomplished my goals, have you?

The Chicken, The Egg, and The Garden of Eden

2007-07-26T18:23:00.000-05:00

I mentioned my whole theory about the first person to see an egg fall out of a chicken and wonder "can I eat that?" a few weeks ago and have follow up requests to explain my theory so here we go.

When God first turned control of the garden of Eden over to Adam the Bible states that God walked with Adam through the garden regularly. Here in lies my theory. Adam and God were walking through the garden one day when they happened upon a chicken just as it laid an egg. God looked at Adam and said "you know you can eat those." and Adam said "yeah right your not going to get me with that one." So God pulled out a frying pan, where did he get a frying pan you ask, he is God if he wants a frying pan he gets a frying pan. So he whips out the skillet whips up some fire and fries up the egg. Adam tries it and wow isn't that tasty. So God goes back to heaven leaving Adam with his new discovery. The next day God returns to find Adam, a frying pan, a fire, three frogs two turtles a basketball and a large rock. God realizes very quickly that he cannot be there all the time and this Adam guy is gonna end up killing himself trying to eat stuff just lying around so he wonders what to do. After some thinking he comes up with an idea, he tells Adam that you can't eat everything and to help him figure out what you can and can't eat he is going to provide him with a mate and call her Eve. Here begins the problem.

This Is The Whole Thing..... This Right Here.

2007-07-25T15:47:00.000-05:00

I am unsure really how to begin this post but I am feeling rather misunderstood.

I am being told that I hate Monticello. That my opinions are dangerous, subversive, and who knows what else. It is time to set some things straight.

I do not believe that the leaders of the "pro tax" stance are bad people. I do however believe they have a bad idea. Let me give you an example.

I will walk into a local bank at nine a.m. tomorrow. I will walk directly to the nearest loan officer and introduce myself. I will the tell that loan officer that I would like he or she to loan me lets say 1 million dollars. When he or she asks me what I want the loan for, I will tell her or him, that I really don't have a plan for the money, I just think I may need it someday. What are my chances? I would say my chances are few.

Tomorrow, a small rural fire department will send a grant proposal to our representatives in the capitol. On the line stating what the grant will be used for they write that they have no specific plan for the money, but someday they may want to improve something. What are their chances?

It is that simple. Those simple examples explain everything. These are the same people that are asking you to give them millions of dollars and then are getting angry when someone asks what it will be used for. What plan is there to make things better?

I AM NOT AGAINST A TAX!!!!!!! I am against the bad ideas of a few, that could cause suffering of the many. Notice that I did not say "will cause" but "could cause". The question you must ask yourself is that are you willing to take that chance?

The amazing thing is the personal attacks against me and others who do not agree with the tax. I received a comment today in which I was called an idiot, fat, aggressive, and it was implied that I was unemployed. A note to the "pro-tax" people. It only takes one person reading comments like are being left on my site and others, and that one person realizing that the last ditch effort in any argument is for the side that feels it is losing, or feels that it cannot defend its position on an issue, is to get personal and you are done. They will assume you are desperate and grasping for straws and you will get nowhere. Educate and control your people. If the only argument that you can come up with this early in the game is that I am a fat, aggressive, idiot..... your chances of pulling off a win here are slim.

This is an open invitation to any leader from the "pro-tax" viewpoint, change my mind. Come to my home, you are welcome. We will discuss this issue. Come as a group, feel free. I would post my address but then the "LOBC" (league of belligerent commentors) would beat you here. I am not hard to find, and many of you know who to ask. Now, this invitation does not apply to belligerent nut-jobs, just real people with real discussions. If you see me out and about please feel free to stop and talk. I don't dislike you, I dislike your idea, and that's the long and short of it. Change my mind. Also, let me state for the record, that if you do stop by or we do talk, it will not be spoken about on this site or any other, it will be between us. If you honestly can convince me that the "no-plan" idea is a good one, I will dedicate this site to passing the tax.

There it is, in writing, my opinions, my true feelings. I am sure for some of you this cleared up many things. I am sure for some of you it did nothing but enrage you more. And by the way, can you think of a better way to help make things better for everyone than allowing open and healthy discussion on an important issue such as this? The only problem is that I am having a hard time finding the "open" or "healthy" part in these discussions. Of course I am an idiot, so what do I know anyway.

P.S. All comments are welcome. All will be posted, the only editing will be for vulgar or abusive language towards others. Abuse me all you want, I am used to it.

Well, What do you know about that.

2007-07-24T20:32:00.001-05:00

PARENTAL ADVISORY: THIS POST CONTAINS TRUTH, WHICH MAY BE OFFENSIVE TO SOME READERS: VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

An individual recently left a comment on a fellow blogger's site railing on my post on whether Monticello will get what it needs from a tax.

HERE I will link to my post that got all of this started in the first place so that you may easily compare what I said to what he says I said. I will link to his comment here

Now lets begin at the beginning which is always a good place to start.

First learn the difference between a news site and an opinion site.

I stated the old tax was for ten years in everything I can find in that post.

Second point is that he is basically telling you that you will not get better streets to drive on if you pass this tax because no matter how much money you give the city they won't be able to afford it which just shows bad budgeting skills to begin with.

His comment on municipal sales tax is true, we are in the median, but I do not see this as an excuse to jump to the next level up without better planning and communication.

What are the real reasons that industry has not located here. Please enlighten us. We have a building, labor force with skills in place, housing, food, water, good schools, decent medical facilities, what are the real reasons? Is it because the few people that actually run this town, and I am not talking about the MEDC, Mayor, city council, or Chamber of Commerce, DON'T WANT ANOTHER INDUSTRY COMPETING FOR THEIR LABOR FORCE. Is it that we are unwilling to give tax breaks to new industry? Is this one of the incentives you speak of? Is it because that the people that don't want other industry competing for their labor force have conveniently bought up over 80 percent of the property in Monticello that is appropriate for industry to locate on? I just don't know.

Are you telling us that years and years of experience achieved by our fine citizens at Burlington, Chase Bag, Exopac, Dura Craft, Monark, and others was wasted? I know people that are driving to Dumas, Crossett, Arkansas City, and Pine Bluff, to make good money with those "useless" skills of which you speak. If you are going to win the hearts and minds of those voters you seek so desperately, please don't tell them their hard work was wasted and their skills are useless.

No comment on fire station? Police station?

The spec building. Oh my. So what this commenter is saying is that the MEDC has a budget for paying interest on loans that it took out to build the empty building and pay for the land. Loans that are probably at local banks owned by members of "LERG", who I am sure would rather see the building sold and occupied than continue to receive those interest payments. Yeah and Harry Potter is a real boy, pigs fly, and I am a six foot six 140 pound Latin male supermodel.

Now the only comment that truly angered me. The fact that I even remotely suggested that Monticello was "bad-off". I never stated that. If you read my post again paying closer attention to the end this time you will see that I stated the opposite. I will link to my post here

and let you be the judge. If anything the "pro-tax" group is saying that Monticello is so "bad-off" we need this tax or it is going to get even worse.

Now so far there has been no argument to the "if I pass the tax can you assure me that the cost of municipal services won't increase" question.

As far as population, what does that have to do with the issue at hand? If I had stated that Monticello was a bad place or "bad-off" then an argument could be had, but I did not so no argument needed. But, if I must comment, I already stated why in my original post. Because people in Monticello can drive a short distance and make money with the skills that they learned right here at home. Those same skills that you consider useless. There is no need to uproot family members and homesteads. I know one person that drives every day to Crossett to work for the City Housing authority. Another that drives to Dumas to work at a factory as a maintenance supervisor. If I know two people and I never go anywhere, how many are there really?

Now as far as the public slaughter of city officials and the MEDC specifically. Give me a moment to read my post again................. okay I am back, the MEDC is never mentioned in my post, and as far as the slaughter of city officials, is it slaughter to ask them to explain themselves and their decisions to the people who elected them? Is it slaughter to ask them what our money is being used for? I have always been told that if your cause is just and true you will defend it with honor, humility, and dedication to fact, and that fighting "taxation without representation" is how this country began. I have not been approached to explain my point of view, I have not been approached to discuss my point of view. I have been approached and asked to change my point of view. I have even been "told" to change my point of view. But instead I will give you questions to ask, the answers they will give, and the follow up questions you should ask.

What will the tax dollars be used for? Their answer, Infrastructure, community development, and economic development. Follow up: What specifically is infrastructure? Their Answer: It could be anything from street improvement, city service enhancement, or general improvements to make this a better place to live. Follow up: Yes, but what specifically are you wanting to enhance or improve? This is where the conversation will end. Then they will hand you one of their shiny new pro-tax buttons and there you go. (They had three hundred of them made they have to do something with them.)

Let me state this for the record: I AM NOT AGAINST A TAX IF THE USE OF THE MONEY IS PLANNED, PUBLIC, AND APPROPRIATE TO THE GOOD OF ALL. Come to me with a plan on how to specifically make Monticello better and I will shout it from the mountaintops. Come to me telling me how this tax "could" make Monticello better if that is what we decide to use the money for and sorry folks I can't help you. Remember, if there is no specific plan there is no accountability. No accountability..... no motivation to do the right thing.

In conclusion let me state again. I love Monticello, but it is in trouble. Not a bad place, but in trouble. You tell people to do their homework before choosing sides, I suggest that you side with people that have done theirs. You say that Monticello needs the tax, tell me why. Don't just say we need it, tell me why we need it. I can only surmise by the rather scripted comment you left that the "LERG" has gotten to you. I will make you a deal right now. You pass this tax for unspecified needs, and a few months from now when the county comes to you asking you to dip into your wallet again for a tax "specifically" for a new Library and "specifically" for hospital improvements you be as vocal in your support.

That is how you stop that....

2007-07-16T21:05:00.000-05:00

Anyone have that annoying older aunt or uncle that at every wedding comes up and pokes you and says "your next". Irritating isn't it. Well, next time you are both at a funeral, do the same to them.

More stupid stuff I think about......

2007-07-16T20:19:00.000-05:00

1. Can you cry under water?

2. How important do I have to be to get assassinated and not murdered?

3. If the professor on Gilligan's Island could make a radio out of a coconut, why couldn't he fix the hole in the boat?

4. Why do people go up in tall buildings and then put money in binoculars too see things on the ground?

5. Where does corn oil come from... where does vegetable oil come from.... where does baby oil come from?

6. What disease did cured ham have?

7. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

8. Why does a dog get mad when you blow in its face but hang its head out the window when riding in a car?

9. How did we put a man on the moon before wheels on luggage?

10. If electricity comes from electrons then morality comes from.......... Morons?

11. Round pizza, square box.

12. Threw, through, thru, three words three meanings. Bob, bob, bob. What the heck?

13. We drink Soy milk, but have you ever seen a soy teet.

14. For those of you who don't believe in bigfoot.... why don't you? Because you have never seen him. Ever seen a baby pigeon?

15. Why do we call a device that allows us to roam freely around the world and still stay in touch a "cell" phone?

16. What does a fire-drill in China really look like?

17. What idiot saw an egg fall out of a chicken's butt and wondered "can I eat that?" ( I have a whole adam and eve garden of eden theory on that one, let me know if you are interested and I will post it.)

18. Person who fights fires-firefighter. Person who fights bulls-bullfighter. Person who fights other Person-Boxer.

19. Figured out the third bob yet?

20. Why do people complain about how a baby keeps them up all night and then when they finally do get some rest the say they "slept like a baby"?

What Does Monticello Need? (and will a tax get it)

2007-07-15T15:30:00.000-05:00

What does Monticello need? It is a good question actually. Here is a rundown of a few of the most important things that we need in Monticello and how we go about getting them.

Jobs. Probably the key to all other things we need. Will a tax get them? No

Industry. Of course it is easy to see that securing new industry will get you new jobs. Will a tax get that? No. Most industries consider the bottom line profit very important. If they are going to have to pay higher taxes to do business here when they could locate thirty miles away and still get our labor force because we will drive the thirty miles for a good paying wage they will.

Medical. We have decent health facilities here. But, they could be much better. Will a tax get you that? No. It should but it won't you know it and I know it.

Skilled Labor Force. Interestingly, we already have one of those somewhat. Many people worked at industries that have now closed for a large portion of their lives. They are skilled in many aspects of industrial mechanics, engineering, and production. Why could we not focus our efforts on bringing industry here that needs the type of skills that our residents are already trained to provide? Doesn't sound like rocket science to me. But, maybe that is just me. Will a tax get you skilled labor? Doesn't need too.

Street Improvements. Will a tax get you that? It should, but it won't. Let me defend that statement. The tax that will be ending has already been in effect for ten years. Now answer this honestly. Is the street you live on any better than it was ten years ago? Are any of the streets you drive on better? What do you have to show for ten years of being a loyal taxpayer? Your city owns W.C. Whaley School. An empty building in an empty industrial park. A sports complex that could be used as a pool and a pool that will never pay for itself and is falling apart already three weeks after renovation. And by the way, that's pretty much it.

Police and Fire Station. Will a tax get that. It should, the jury is still out on whether it will or not.

Now the proliferators of the "tax is good" stance will be coming out in force soon. Their battle plan is laid out and it is quite crafty (I know because I have it). You are going to be bombarded by radio, television, newspaper, and personal visits. Now they will not be able to tell you specifically what the money is going to be used for, because they don't know. Heck, they can't even account for the last ten years worth of money. Now to some they are going to promise that Jordan Park is going to be renovated. It's not going to happen. To some they are going to use fear tactics like an increase in price for city services like water and trash pick up. Ask them if the tax passes can they assure you that there will be no increase in cost for those services in the next fifteen years anyway. They won't be able to. I doubt in the last ten years that we have already been paying a tax there has been no increase in water, sewer, or trash pickup rates.

Now I have noticed lately that our Mayor has been rather tight lipped concerning the tax. It seems that since the idea of a community center was over-ruled he has been less than supportive of a tax. When you are approached, when you have the opportunity, ask one of these proliferators of "tax" why when the list was made of people that would be good to interview for a "pro tax" message for radio, t.v., and newspaper....... why the Mayor of our fine city's name was not on that list. Then go one step further, go ask the Mayor why his name is not on the list.

The folks who want this tax who will from now be known as the "League of Extraordinarily Rich Gentleman" or the "LERG" for short, will use many tactics to sway your opinion. They will tell you this tax is what Monticello needs to grow. Folks it is not about growing anymore. Monticello needs to survive. Growing can come later. If Monticello does not survive it will never grow. How many dead plants have you seen bloom? And folks, our fine city is on life support right now and the "LERG" is standing in line to pull the plug.

Ladies and gentleman, please listen to me very carefully right now, and take me very seriously. I have lived in this city all of my life. I was born here, grew up here, made big mistakes here, had great success here. I love Monticello, you will find no one that loves it more than I do. Many of you know me and know that I am no dummy. Many of you that read this don't know me at all. This is my home, it is the place I will always call home. And it is in trouble. A tax will not save it. the "LERG" aren't trying to save it by passing a tax that has no designated purpose, that is easy to figure out. The only ones that can save it are you and I. How do we do that, by demanding better for our home. By not standing silent any longer and only asking among ourselves "why?". It is time to take a stand. Time to stand up for something that cannot stand for itself. It is time to take a stand for our home. To stand one and all for Monticello.

You know I noticed something the other day. If you stand in the middle of the town square and look around you it is easy to see what is worth fighting for. But if you stand on the first tee at the country club........ you can't see Monticello at all.

Toys..

2007-07-12T22:20:00.000-05:00

I was thinking this evening, for no particular reason, about toys. Interestingly I told someone special tonight that I had nothing to write about and then boom here this comes. So here we go with "Toys I Remember.

Shrinky Dinks

Rubik's Cube. I remember when they came out)

Armatron. I know where one of these is and I may end up buying it just for nostalgia's sake.

Atari 2600 game console. Love me some "River Raid". I actually have it for the Playstation 2.

Radio Shack TRS-80 model three computer. It had a cassette player that plugged into it and that was where the programs were stored. Yes, an actual cassette like you would use in a car stereo. For those of you born after say.... the late 80's look up cassette on Google.

Stupid Things I Think About.

2007-07-11T20:38:00.000-05:00

The 8 facts post gave me what I think is a great idea. Post some of the stupid things I think about. So here we go.

1. Is there a such thing as a dead-end one-way street?

2. Why is it illegal to possess drugs but not to consume them?

3. How long did it take before the inventor of the paper clip finally "got it right"?

4. Has everything good already been done?

5. Did Oswald act alone. A former boss and myself flew to Dallas on a whim one evening to try to find out. One of my readers may remember that?

6. Why does a duck's opinion of me depend so highly on whether or not I have bread in my possession?

7. Who heard a dog bark and decided it sounded like bow-wow?

8. Why does my car only fail to start when I am leaving to do something I "want" to do not "have" to do, and why should I be surprised?

9. If two plus two always equals four..... what good is it?

10. If Jeff Noble leaves going north to a city council meeting and I leave going south to the same meeting and Jeff receives two calls on his new I-phone while en-route, what is the probability that he will not answer either one and that upon arriving we will discover that our elected officials are still idiots?

11. Why do I want a stack of pancakes so badly for breakfast but then am so quickly sick of them once I begin eating.

12. If your dog could talk would he bother?

13. How do they know nine out of ten dentists prefer the taste of Colgate? Are there only ten dentists?

14. If I took my "area rug" out onto the porch would it then become a mat? And could I then get the new one I need cheaper?

15. Floor mats? Are there any other kind?

16. If I put peanut butter and jelly between two pieces of bread is not a sandwich just because it doesn't have the tangy taste of Miracle Whip?

17. Is Maury's favorite singer still Peter Cetera (In your eyes playing on itunes made me think of that)

18. What is that cat thinking?

19. Why can't we all just get along?

And finally

20. Aren't you glad God does not believe in the old saying "You never get a second chance to make a first impression"?

CRAP!!!!

2007-07-11T18:38:00.000-05:00

Well I have prided myself on being slightly mysterious. In fact I think only one fellow blogger actually knows who I am, but K.T. over at momma-tude has figured out a way to get me to open up a bit more. And, being that the blogger code, unlike the pirate code, is more than just a set of guidelines, here we go with 8 facts about me.

1. I am a certified Jeweler. I worked at a local jewelry store for ten years as a goldsmith and stone setter as well as a jewelry designer.

2. I am a certified firefighter.

3. I used to be a local radio Disc Jockey.

4. I am lonely all of the time. (and I don't know how to fix it.)

5. I wonder about stupid things. (why does a store that is open 24hrs a day have locks on the front doors? I mean really have you ever gone to E-Z mart and it be closed?

6. I live on one of the streets K.T. mentioned when she talked about flooding.

7. I suffer from a condition called Agoraphobia.

8. I honestly believe no one reads my blog and have been seriously considering not writing it anymore, but it seems to make me feel better when I do write on it.

They Better Be Glad They're Not In China

2007-07-10T16:11:00.000-05:00

China announced today that it executed the head of the Chinese Food and Drug Administration for taking bribes. One shot to the back of the head. I wonder how many of our local leaders read this article and realized how lucky they are. Can you imagine, one of our leaders does something we don't like, maybe passing a useless, unwarranted, and seemingly economically dangerous tax and POW!!!! to the moon Alice. Nothing like the sentence for stupidity being death to give someone a moment of pause. Don't you think?

Be Prepared...

2007-07-09T19:16:00.000-05:00

Be prepared people of Monticello. Shenanigans are about to begin. A tax is soon to be proposed to you. For what you say? Verily I say unto thee, no one is sure quite yet. Not even those who are going to propose it to you. The troops are massing on the borders of "common sense" and "your wallet", and the troops will soon be spilling over in a full on frontal attack. The country of "your wallet" is in danger and not nearly as secure as you had hoped. You will not know the real reason they are invading. You will not know the real reason they are here. They come not for your lands, not because of your religious beliefs. they come to enslave your immortal soul for the next ten to fifteen years. Be prepared Monticello. Take up arms and fight the aggressors. Fear not for there are those who will fight with you. Those who will stand beside you. Paint thy faces in the colors of your family and join in the lines of battle. Fight like warrior poets, and win your freedom.

Where Do You Blog?

2007-07-08T19:11:00.000-05:00

I wonder sometimes where everyone does their blogging. Maybe I wonder too much. Pretty much all of my blogging, whether good or bad, is done here on the couch.....

On Love And Loss.

2007-07-08T13:40:00.000-05:00

What do you do when the one you love, for whatever their reasons, tells you they don't want to talk to you anymore? What if they tell you it isn't because they don't love you? And worse, you know that is true. Does it make it hurt any less? No, I think, from what I am experiencing now, that it is much worse.

Yes, I will be alone.

Alone..... by myself.

I will exist in a place,

Where no one will want to see me

No one will want to hear me

Where no one will want to touch me

I will be alone with my thoughts of loss

My mind will exist in a state of confusion

Confused with dreams and ideals

Yet... lacking in reality

I know not where this place is.

I will be apart from the living and not living

But, I will be there

and, I will be there alone.

Word Of The Day.

2007-07-07T18:28:00.000-05:00

Moron: The difference in the way your city officials spend money on idiotic projects compared to useful projects. They spend moron idiotic projects.

How Many Times Do I Have To Tell You?

2007-07-07T13:26:00.000-05:00

This is a question that I used to ask for other reasons but now, it seems fitting to ask it to the people of Monticello. Now that we have come full circle and the vice-president is no longer a member of the executive branch of government, we must turn our attention solely to the matters of local politics. Being that national politics are so messed up that Jefferson, and Franklin themselves could not rescue us from the abyss in which we are about to propel ourselves. What can we do you ask? Good question. And...there is a simple answer. Get up off of the couch and go ask questions. Our local leaders can ignore your phone calls. Our local leaders cannot ignore you if you are standing in their office, or place of business. Go to the Mayor and ask questions, then be prepared for the pouting to begin. Once you realize that your city is being run by Stewie Griffin, then you will understand why things are the way they are. There is always a diabolical doomsday plan in the works to take over the world, there is always another motive to every move that is made. Whether it is to lull you into a feeling that everything is alright, or to appease you with some small trinket or colored piece of cloth when you protest. There is always another motive. Admittedly, there is a motive to what I am writing here. It probably isn't what you think it is. It is to amuse you while at the same time injecting into your psyche, just a tidbit of knowledge and common sense. Now as long as everything is going to plan, the world is a wonderful place, champagne falls from the heavens and velvet ropes part at will. When things are not going to plan meaning when "people are asking questions", faces are red instead of the ropes, and I am not even going to mention what falls from the sky. Listen, if you ask your civic leaders a simple question like "Where did all of our money go?" and they look at you like a monkey doing a math problem, then you know things are going badly. So, go ask your leaders where millions of dollars have been spent over the past ten years.......OH, be sure to bring bananas.

Return Of A Blogger

2007-07-06T10:07:00.000-05:00

Well, where do I start? Where have I been? I have been around. Now that we have all that out of the way, let us begin. Well the mayor has removed the community center from the tax proposal. Interestingly enough he did not use the extra space that he obtained to inject fiscal responsibility. Where has the money from the tax of the past ten years gone. I know, you should know, I would tell you but then you wouldn't "learn nuthin." But, if you think the salaries of the public officials, city employees, and other needs for the city have been coming from tax revenue, you haven't "learned nuthin." I know someone who asked over a month ago for some accounting of where the tax money has been spent, and as far as I know, no one knows. Not even the people who have been spending the money.Now, say you went to the bank and there was say 20 million dollars missing from your account and no one at the bank could tell you where it went, would you get upset? Well, then why aren't you upset? Millions of your dollars are gone and no one can tell you where it went. But you aren't upset. Tell you what, just bring me all of your money. I can spend it and not tell you on what or with who just as well as they can. And your not going to say anything about it anyway so why not? Let me "splain" something to you, tax money is like a big community account, you pay it in so that you can use it later. For roads, police, fire, garbage pick up, and so on. So you put the money in and someone comes and withdraws it and puts it in a big pile and sets it aflame, and you are fine with it. Like I said, bring it to me I have matches and lighter fluid.

STUPID PEOPLE

2007-05-31T16:27:00.000-05:00

This is a post that I have been preparing for a few days now. The backstory begins with me sitting comfortably at Dad's Place Coffee, enjoying my new MACBOOK, and a double shot sweet Swamp Water. Enter from stage right a stupid person. Now it was not apparent from her just entering the establishment that she was stupid. But, then she spoke. And, she kept speaking. Now here lies the problem. I firmly believe that when a stupid person begins speaking it creates an invisible vortex in the area that draws in all intelligent thought around it. The more she spoke the larger the vortex became. Suddenly I found myself unable to read, type, or add two and two together. My eyes began to water and a strange smell fell upon the room like fog on the coast. That cold winter fog that is half fog half ice. It was affecting everyone in the room. Customers forgot their names and why they were there. I could not remember the name of my own blog. Someone across the room passed out because they forgot how to breathe. In conclusion, if you are a stupid person, please speak as little as possible. If not for yourself for the safety of the rest of us. Because, I have come to the conclusion that you are too stupid to know that you are killing the rest of us.

We Are Not Alone

2007-05-31T16:17:00.000-05:00

After reading the article on monticello live, it seems to me that we who want information before making decisions are not alone. I just had a thought. Instead of spending ten million on a community center, let's spend 3 million on a community center and seven million on new facilities for our police and fire departments. Does that make sense to anyone else? Or, better yet, lets spend 5 million on new facilities for our police and fire departments, a couple of million turning the W.C. Whaley property into a public park and call it a day. I am a long time monticello resident, and I cannot see the need for a community center. Someone made a statement to me today that in summary says that kids in this town need something to do. I agree, the question is will they use this facility? Will there parents be willing to bring them there, pay the fee on the chance that they may not use it, or, will this be a community center for those within walking distance. Now as far as the police and fire department facilities go I have some experience in this area. My father was a firefighter here for many years, and a police officer for many more. I used to stay at the fire station with him on the weekends when he would be on call. It needed to be condemned then, and that was twenty or more years ago. I cannot forsee that the conditions have gotten any better. Common sense is being reborn by all evidence, now it is time to take the next step. What is the next step you ask? We will talk more about that later.

Recycled Title: The Rebirth of Common Sense

2007-05-29T16:23:00.000-05:00

I believe that the people of Monticello have, without even noticing, witnessed a rebirth of common sense. It seems to me that some of our leaders have finally decided that they will not go like sheep to the slaughter. They have requested what we call "information" before they make a decision concerning extending the tax issue. I must say, good for them. It is nice to know that I am not the only who worries about spending money on something when I don't even know what it is going to look like and no one can show me or tell me. Interestingly enough, no one is really sure how much it will cost either. Some say ten million, some say twelve. It doesn't matter what they say now because we are in wartime. Prices during wartime have a tendancy to rise and then rise some more. You don't build in wartime unless you are homeless. The price of steel is through the roof, lumber and other building materials as well. Copper is on the moon, and you need copper to make the wire to bring electricity through the building. Now, I will admit that an end to the war is not in sight, I don't care what anyone says, so maybe we need to just pull back on the reigns a bit and show some restraint. If we don't get industry and jobs here, and I don't mean Subway and Pizza Hut, real paying jobs and industry, who will be able to afford to pay a membership fee? First thing is first, Monticello is already on it's way to being a fifty fast food joint ghost town, lets secure our people opportunities and assure that they have a desire to stay here before we give them more to pay for. I mean maybe it is just me. Who knows?

Workers, Lurkers, and Televised Blogs....

2007-04-28T16:45:00.000-05:00

I have discussed with several people on several occasions how to get more comments on my blog. Interestingly I find that I am not the only one who is frustrated by those who visit the site but stay for so short a time that they cannot see how wonderful it is(shameless plug) read it, or even understand what it is about. Then there are those who stay on for a few hours, reading and learning about who I am or who I want to be, but leave no comment. Those individuals are called “lurkers”.

It was requested that I somehow address those “lurkers”. I was unsure of how to do so. But I think I have come up with the perfect answer.... Televised Blogs. Madness you say. Voodoo you exclaim, but alas, hear me out.

How many of these “lurkers” scream loudly at the television when an umpire or referee makes a bad call in a baseball or basketball game? How many comment on the stupidity of whatever news story is on the television right now. Opinions are prevalent in today’s society. Some are educated, some are less than. But, most people who put their lives out there on the internet, their opinions out there on the internet in the form of “blogs” want to hear your opinion too. We are trying to learn. About our world, ourselves, and we want to learn from you. So, leave a comment now and then, we know you are out there, we see our hit counters going up and up, and still we are not learning. We value your opinion, it helps us keep an open mind about the world. And, who knows, maybe you will learn something too. Nothing wrong with that is there?

How the “WHY??” Generation Has Changed Mainstream News Media.

2007-04-21T11:53:00.000-05:00

From The Book "Please Pass The Pork" Politics, Corruption, and Collusion In Small Town America by Terry G. Bernard.

Chapter 7
Don't Trust "Mainstream" Media

I remember the days of news when the purpose of the media was to report news. It seems that in the past ten years, the role, or more importantly, the role of the media as viewed by the public, has become to tell the public “why” and incident occurred and not “what” incident if any has occurred.

It is important to remember that the role of the media never has been or never will be to tell us “why”. Interestingly, the media does not know why. I reported news for many years before deciding to become an author and never during the investigation of a lead, follow up, or during any other part of the reporting process have ever found out why something happened. Do not sit back on your recliner or sofa and believe what televised media is telling you if they are telling you why something happened. It is important to note that whenever a so-called “expert” is professing his wealth of knowledge upon your senses he always at some point qualifies his statements by saying “of course we are merely speculating”. The press should never speculate. That is not their job.

The two most important factors to remember when considering news coverage are ambiguity and protection of rights. At any point where media starts to speculate on why an incident occurred or why someone did what they did all ambiguity is lost. If a member of the press is speculating on an incident with or without all of the facts he is injecting his opinion into the discussion. How can ambiguity exist with personal opinion involved? It is also important to remember that when protecting the rights of all involved the most important person to protect is not the public, the families of the injured, or even the victims. Where the press is concerned the most important person whose rights has to be protected is the suspect. Now, I know many of you are asking yourself “WHY?” Thank you for making my point for me. What if by some chance the individual at Virginia Tech had been misidentified. What if he had not committed both shootings? Before we even knew how many were dead, and if the rest were safe, the media was speculating “WHY?”. Please note that even after receiving the letters as well as the videos that the Virginia Tech shooter sent to NBC news, none of us nor any of them truly know why he did what he did. Even if he had not taken his own life, would we ever truly know why? Who, What, Where----that’s the news and should still be. Sadly this is not the case.

Remember always, especially when you are upset at a member of the media for not telling you “why” something happened, he does not know, and he never will. And more importantly remember that truly, by definition, it is not his job to tell you. If you want to know “WHAT” ask a real “newsman”. If you want to know “why”, ask Dr. Phil.

In closing of this chapter may I say that the media in today’s society is failing you miserably. They are failing you by giving you what you “want”, and losing sight of what they are responsible for. And please notice, that during the writing of this I never asked “why?” But without speculation, and with ambiguity you know why.

New Subtitle.

2007-04-12T19:47:00.000-05:00

Please tell me what you think of the new blog subtitle. No more gloom agony and despair for your amusement.

The Rebirth of Common Sense???

2007-04-12T18:53:00.000-05:00

Is the rebirth of common sense underway? Is Benton Arkansas the barometer for what is to come? A few days ago the voters of Benton went to the polls to vote on whether or not an extra one half cent in sales taxes to build a new city park. Now the first amazing thing is that the tax was defeated. The second is that it was defeated 87% against 13% for. The third amazing thing is the fact that of the registered voters that qualified to cast their ballot, 83 percent showed up to the polls. Now that sounds like a-lot, and it is, but here is just how "a-lot" it is. It is more voters than turned out to vote for a president nationwide in the last four elections "COMBINED!" Now a friend of mine and I were talking about this and his question was how did they get such a turnout? Maybe it is the rebirth of common sense. Maybe it was just that dramatically stupid. We may never know for sure, but the question must be asked. With the possibility of upcoming votes on local tax extensions, increases, or however they are being defined at this hour, is Benton The Barometer? Remember folks very few of us spend large sums of money on one item without planning it out. Why would we let "someone else" spend large sums of OUR money without a plan? What is the plan? Where are the goals? What is it going to look like? You don't know because neither does he.

Easter Bunny Goodness.....

2007-04-06T20:42:00.000-05:00

Look what the Easter bunny brought me. Now I will never leave the house. 60 inches of HDTV Digital Picture 7.1 Dolby Digital Surround Sound happiness. WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Home Sick....

2007-04-04T09:03:00.000-05:00

Now the title is sort of misleading I will admit. I was in an accident many years ago and there was a good bit of damage done to my left leg. Henceforth, scar tissue and blood clots. My leg looks like a purple balloon. Oh well I guess I will get to catch up on my laying around doing nothing. I have been too busy lately to keep up with it anyway.

On Citizenship....

2007-04-01T13:02:00.000-05:00

“Democracy is the worst form of government ever attempted in the world. The only exceptions to this are all of the other ones ever attempted.” This quote from Winston Churchill is a volume, a novel of citizenship wrapped into a single sentence. But what does it say?

It is lost on the citizen of today the importance and the value of what his responsibilities are. A Great example is Benjamin Franklin. Benjamin Franklin, and others before and after him, risked their very lives to give us what we have today. I speak not of soldiers, wars, and battles. What we are discussing here and now is the actual risk they took. Back in 1776 the very breath of splitting from England, was considered treason and punishable by death. Yes folks, DEATH. No trial, no appeal, no mercy. Now Benjamin Franklin, a patriot yes, a scholar yes, but not a citizen. Benjamin Franklin, and others, risked their lives in the mere hope of citizenship, the mere hope of building something that would live on past themselves and their namesakes. Now for himself and others to risk so much for something that they knew from the beginning was so horribly flawed is at the least remarkable. Democracy. Now as the reapers of the rewards of those risks, what are our responsibilities as citizens? There is only one. It is our duty, our responsibility, to question the leaders that we have chosen. Democracy is a form of government that allows us to put in place people to make decisions under our scrutiny and our direction. It is our duty. It is the building block of our system of government. Why don’t we? I think all citizens have lost the purpose for our elected officials. Our elected officials were never meant to be the leaders! Their sole responsibility as elected officials, is to be our voice in the dark. Their sole responsibility is to yell above the crowd, and say WE ARE CITIZENS AND WE SHALL BE HEARD!!!!! If you are not questioning your elected representatives, and I do not mean in your mind, or among yourselves. I mean walking directly to your officials and asking them WHY, then you are not a citizen. Your duties and responsibilities are few, and in the technological world of today with cars, telephones, computers, so on....these responsibilities are easy to full-fill. And remember something else very important. When you ask WHY it is those officials duty, and responsibility to tell you why. Do not be afraid. We are the leaders, they are our voice. It is time for all of us, to lead. It is time once again for our voices to speak for us.

Of Sheep and Men

2007-04-01T11:49:00.000-05:00

Excerpt from the book: "Please Pass The Pork" Politics Collusion and Corruption in Small Town America by Terry G Bernard

What do sheep and humans have in common? Let us ponder this for a moment shall we. First we must discuss the icon of sheep. The shepherd. When you think of a shepherd, what is the first thing you think of? The hook of course. Now sheep do not recognize their owners necessarily but they do recognize the hook. This shepherd could be leading them to fertile pastures of green grass and cool mountain water to drink, a virtual paradise in the mind of sheep. Then, on the other hand, this shepherd could be leading them to a cliff, deep, dark, and fraught with peril and their complete destruction. They don’t know. Do you see a herd of sheep sending out other sheep to investigate whether or not they are embarked on a journey that will full-fill all of their dreams, or a journey that will end in their destruction. No, you do not. He leads, they follow and no one utters a word unless the sheep get out of line.

Now to humans. The interesting thing about humans is they have the ability to do what sheep don’t. Investigate. The problem with humans is that when they ask a question, they don’t really want to hear the truth. They want to hear whatever answer suits them best. There are humans out there that will go forth from the herd, investigate the destination, then report back to the herd. The problem is, if the herd doesn’t like what the others have discovered, it suddenly becomes fabrication, or worse the nature of humanity takes over, and the investigators find the cliff and report back that it is green grass and cool water. Humans also can choose their shepherd, which is a unique advantage. But, there in also lies the problem. Once humans choose their shepherd, they are pretty much done.

Now, where is the advantage that the sheep have. It is simple, they always recognize the hook. Humans rarely do. Humans see or more importantly “hear” the hook one time, and they follow the shepherd blindly to whatever end is in store.

So, to the original question. What do sheep and humans have in common? The answer is: They both will follow anyone with a hook no matter what the consequences.

Reading Is Fundamental

2007-03-30T20:39:00.000-05:00

Excerpt from the book "Please Pass The Pork" Politics, Corruption, and Collusion in Small Town America by Terry G Bernard.

Small town America is not without its share of political corruption. The difference in big government and small town government is the fact that in small town government, there are more people with more intelligence closer to the source of the corruption. For example, in the small town where I grew up, the "good ole' boy" system of government is alive and well. The problem lies not with the numbers of people that know it exist, but with the numbers of people that care. In small town government there are many people in positions of power that were drawing their last breath when Strom Thurmond won his first election. These people have become comfortable with the "status quo", and could care less whether things ever change. Why make things better for others when you are still going to be nearly dead while they are out enjoying all the things you have given them. Then of course there is the money. Many elected officials in small town government are local business owners. Now whether or not these officials were successful business owners does not seem to be the issue, many failed and bankrupt businessmen feel that the only thing left for them to do once they have proven they they cannot manage their own money is to manage everyone else's. Of course managing the finances of an entire city must be much easier than managing your own because you have the advice of the local "special interest" groups to give you advice on how they can, excuse me you can spend those funds. Interestingly, access has much to do with expenditure. For example, for a lobbyist in Washington D.C. to request spending on whatever stupid venture he is lobbying for at the moment, he has to make appointments, and so on. In small town America, you just go down to the local eatery where everyone hangs out, and there always is one, buy one of the old geezers breakfast and BOOM your in. Now, common sense rarely is involved. Common sense in small town government is what many people in other cultures call "voodoo". It is sinful and should be avoided at all costs, and know this for certain, the costs can be astronomical. In the next chapter we will discuss and define "special interests" as it pertains to small town America.

It's amazing how small towns can be so much alike no matter which one you call home.

Your Doing What?

2007-03-29T19:13:00.000-05:00

For those of you who know me you will understand exactly how big of a deal what I am about to say really is. For those of you who don't know me, ask someone who does and they will explain. I am going on a road trip to Atlanta Georgia. What did he say? Georgia? He can barely get out of the house without medication. Yes I will be embarking on a trip to Atlanta Georgia this weekend. I will be traveling in a big rig to deliver some items in Atlanta. I have my prescriptions filled and I am ready to rock and roll. I think. I hope. Well maybe I shouldn't go. Home is much safer. You know, bad things happen to people who go outside. You see it on the news all the time.

Shameless Yard Sale Post.

2007-03-28T19:33:00.000-05:00

I have some items that I need to sell. So I thought I would attempt to sell them here. So here we go.

1. JVC super VHS Digital signal processing camcorder. 25x optical 1000x digital zoom. This means at one hundred yards you can read the date on a nickel. Also it is equipped with night vision three extra batteries and one high capacity battery chargers and carrying case. 100 dollars will get it. I have shot exactly 8 minutes of video since I bought it new. All the promotional stickers are still attached.

2. Blackberry 6280 smartphone for Cingular. Phone PDA and all. Pop in your SIM card and your ready to go. 30.00 gets it. Phone is working fine.

3. Sony Playstation 2. All the gadgets and bells. Remote controll, memory card, infared adapter, and several games. First 90.00 is the winner.

Items number two and three were brought in to my shop for repair and never picked up. All are working perfectly and you are welcome to test them before you purchase. Pictures of phone and camera are here for you to see. Did not photograph Playstation because it is in my bedroom and that is just creepy. If interested e-mail me at stuff-forsale@hotmail.com.

Ways To Secure A Position Within City Government.

2007-03-28T18:11:00.000-05:00

Here is a short list of ways to assure yourself a position in city government.

1. Be fired by the outgoing Mayor.

2. Campaign heavily for the incoming Mayor.

3. Do not criticize your own personnel in public.

4. Say "pretty please"

How Not To Get Fired.

2007-03-28T17:59:00.000-05:00

With the recent release of a city official I thought it prudent to list ways not to get fired if you are a city employee.

1. Do not sit in a public eating establishment and state that people died because the personnel you are in charge of are "too slow."

2. DON'T LET SOMEONE OVERHEAR YOU SAY IT!!!!!!

3. If said "total stranger" does hear you say it and you know that he heard you eliminate him with extreme prejudice before he has the opportunity to go back and tell the Mayor who may not like you very much already.

These are just a few tips that can make your life a little easier if you are employed by the city.

Now There Are Flowers.

2007-03-26T18:33:00.000-05:00

In springtime, the only pretty ring time, birds sing a ding a ding a ding. Sweet lovers love.....the spring.

Gettin All Gussied Up....

2007-03-24T18:24:00.000-05:00

My stepmother spent her day today building flower boxes to go in the front of the store and my place. She is getting the place all gussied up and "prettified". I will soon start planting my hanging gardens, like I usually do during the summer. Grape tomatoes, jalapeno peppers and the like. I just hope that once they get ripe that they will stay there long enough for me to enjoy them. Folks have a tendency to abscond with them once they have ripened, at least that is the way it was at my previous residence. I figure with the customers coming in and out things will pretty much be the same or worse maybe. Of course I was a known watermelon thief in my old neighborhood so there is little I can say.

The Germans Had Nothing To Do With It...

2007-03-21T20:22:00.000-05:00

Why did I name this post as I did? Who knows, but the Germans had nothing to do with it. Why was the fire chief removed from his duties and someone else appointed that probably has less training than half of the current department members? Who knows, but the Germans had nothing to do with it. Why was a Mayor elected that is running the city like his own personal Roman Empire? Who knows, but the Germans had nothing to do with it. Why is it still illegal to "goose-step" in Belgium? Ok, the Germans had something to do with that one. How long will it be before we are marching in the streets of Monticello in uniform preceded by trucks pulling missiles under the watchful eye of Kim Jong Rogers? Who knows, but the Germans won't have anything to do with that either.

HEH HEH......She Said POO....

2007-03-20T16:02:00.000-05:00

Now I will not call anyone out on this or name names. But there is someone out there right now reading the title to this and saying to themselves...I knew he wouldn't pass that up. After Church Services on Sunday I decided (while the pills were working) to go out to eat. Now I never do this. EVER!!!! So I tra la la'd down to ye ole Western Sizzlin. Or if your from the south Western Sizzler (because we are to stupid to realize that Western Sizzlin and the Sizzler are two totally different franchises.) Someone came in I knew with his family and his wife graciously invited me to dine with them. We were having wonderful conversation everything going smoothly and suddenly from across the table, and excuse me for not remembering the context or verbiage, the word POO!!!! Yes ladies and gentlemen POO!!!!!! If you have children you know what a moment like this means the first time your family is around someone new (that would be me). I think they were discussing the flavor of a cake recipe actually and she was weighing in on the intricacies of it's flavor and texture, but forgive me if I am mistaken. If this type of thing has happened to you as a parent....join the club, if not...where are you hiding? Are you one of those people that you only see at the county fair? You know those people. You never see them at Wal Mart, or Piggly Wiggly. Just at the county fair. Usually wearing cutoff dress slacks, black dress socks, sandals, and a "Where's The Beef" t-shirt as a topper. So thank you for an entertaining lunch little miss "name withheld for legal reasons" and thank you to the grown ups too, you were pretty interesting yourselves.

How Many...

2007-03-20T15:55:00.000-05:00

It is one of the classic questions. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? How many _______________(fill in whatever here) does it take to screw in a light bulb? And, my newest favorite....How many ordinary southerners does it take to put a blade on a circular saw. The answer is three. You see only two mind you I know. The third, my father, is inside getting his glasses because that's what the problem is of course. Note his empty chair by the picnic table. I love every day stuff.

My Loyal Companion......

2007-03-20T15:50:00.000-05:00

She is with me no matter what. She never judges me. She is always glad to see me when she gets to. And she chases a ball like nobody's business

I Wondered If I Still Had It.....

2007-03-18T21:11:00.000-05:00

I was wondering this evening while working on a customer's computer if I still had the ability to what I call a "case up" system build. So after finishing with the customer's laptop, and by the way Jeff, it was a MAC, yes they do break down too, I thought I would give it a go. Empty case, boxes full of parts, fifty three minutes later, working computer. I still got it. Rarely in this area do you get the opportunity to build a system from "case up". here are some pictures I took during the testing phase and then of the monitor with software installed and connected to the internet. I love my job....

Yep.....He is there.

2007-03-18T20:58:00.000-05:00

As may of you may know and most of you may not I posted the other day that I would be attending church today. Now a few of you know what that really means. For those of you who do not, I will not try to explain right now but just let me say that it is not an easy task. My concern was whether Jesus was there. I must say without a doubt YES he is there. It was a wonderful experience and I wonder if today's speaker knew I was coming or somehow knew the struggles I have been going through. I know he didn't which makes todays experience even more profound. I suggest that you attend Journey Church as soon as possible. There is something going on there that is powerful. I will return and Jeff, if your reading this THANK YOU for inviting me. I will return.

This Is...

2007-03-17T16:53:00.000-05:00

This is the machine that makes what we think up in our heads into reality. We come up with a design, feed it into a computer and this machine makes it real. Basically a robot the size of a small car.

The View...

2007-03-17T16:45:00.000-05:00

No it is not what you are thinking. This is the view I see every day while I am working......Wonderful I think.

Big Brother is Watching.....

2007-03-16T22:55:00.000-05:00

IP Address

141.116.142.# (Army Information Systems Command-Pentagon)

ISP

Army Information Systems Command-Pentagon

Location

Continent	:	North America
Country	:	United States (Facts)
State	:	District of Columbia
City	:	Washington
Lat/Long	:	38.8933, -77.0146 (Map)
Distance	:	766 miles

Language

English (United States)
en-us

Operating System

Microsoft WinXP

Browser

Internet Explorer 6.0
Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.1; SV1; .NET CLR 1.1.4322; InfoPath.1; .NET CLR 2.0.50727)

Javascript

version 1.3

Monitor

Resolution	:	1024 x 768
Color Depth	:	32 bits

Time of Visit

Mar 16 2007 11:32:56 am

Last Page View

Mar 16 2007 11:32:56 am

Visit Length

0 seconds

Page Views

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http://www.monticellolive.com/

Visit Entry Page

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Visit Exit Page

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Out Click

Time Zone

UTC-4:00

Visitor's Time

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Visit Number

312

You never know who is lurking..

The Struggle Continues....

2007-03-16T21:40:00.000-05:00

As I sit here writing and reflecting on the events of the day with "Elton John" playing in the background I feel pretty good... considering I have been without sleep for several weeks now. When I say without sleep please understand I mean not one moment of sleep. Up for almost two weeks now. Last night I asked God to quiet my mind so that I may get some rest. I repeated it over and over and the next thing I know I am waking up this morning with the alarm clock blaring. I slept. I couldn't believe it. So I asked God tonight what I need to do. I have been in a "soul struggle" for several weeks now. And the first thing that popped into my mind after asking God what I should do was Jeff. Jeff is a friend and Pastor of a local church. So I emailed him for the Sunday Worship schedule. Since I received his reply suddenly I feel calm, my mind is not racing, obsessing, flying away on it's own. And, my heart doesn't hurt anymore. Now I don't mean actual physical pain. It just doesn't hurt anymore. It has hurt for along time, years now I would say. Now I am no angel. I have run course through most of the Commandments. But, my heart doesn't hurt anymore. Peter Gabriel (In Your Eyes) playing now. I asked another friend of mine who is a Pastor about attending a new church. He asked if they had Jesus. I said I didn't know. He told me if they did then they are doing just fine. I hope Jesus is there. I am ready to meet him, I think we will have lots to talk about.

More New Stuff

2007-03-16T21:21:00.000-05:00

These are my friends Bill and Hillary. They live in a white house and fight constantly and are rather promiscuous when let out of the white house so I figured it was only fitting.

Something New..

2007-03-16T21:13:00.000-05:00

I thought I would try something new with my brand new digital camera. Maybe let some of you in on aspects of my life that people rarely see. So here we go. This is where I do my work when I am at home. Pretty sad huh?

Understatement at the Least....

2007-03-03T10:27:00.000-06:00

This is a news story I found a bit ago. Read through and then read through below with subliminal goodness added in parentheses.

CASCADE TOWNSHIP -- A Cascade Township couple made a disturbing discovery when two extra packages containing human body parts were delivered to their home.

Investigators with the Kent County Sheriff's Department say the packages originated in China and were supposed to be delivered to a laboratory in Traverse City. Instead, the driver from DHL accidentally thought the extra packages were part of the couple's order when he made the delivery on Thursday.

The couple opened the other packages and noticed the body parts.

The two extra packages are part of a much larger shipment. Investigators say three of the original five boxes shipped have been received. Of the two missing boxes, there could be up to 30 individually wrapped specimens that do not pose a health risk to the public.

Now a statewide alert has been sent to police agencies. Authorities say anyone who receives these packages by mistake, shipped by DHL, should contact police.

Now the subliminal goodness.....

CASCADE TOWNSHIP -- A Cascade Township couple made a disturbing discovery when two extra packages containing human body parts were delivered to their home.(Get the Door...It's Dahmer-noes)

Investigators with the Kent County Sheriff's Department(Frank and Earl) say the packages originated in China(cause they make body parts cheaper there) and were supposed to be delivered to a laboratory in Traverse City. Instead, the driver from DHL accidentally thought the extra packages were part of the couple's order(see this Ebay Seller's other items) when he made the delivery on Thursday.

The couple opened the other packages and noticed the body parts.(remove "noticed the body parts" insert "pooped their pants")

The two extra packages are part of a much larger shipment.(NO KIDDING) Investigators say three of the original five boxes shipped have been received.(by who exactly) Of the two missing boxes, there could be up to 30 individually wrapped specimens(like Hershey's Kisses) that do not pose a health risk to the public.(it's all funny till someone loses an eye..or finds one)

Now a statewide alert has been sent to police agencies.(attention all units..be on the look out for THING from the Addams Family) Authorities say anyone who receives these packages by mistake, shipped by DHL, should contact police.

A Quick Thought......

2007-03-03T00:52:00.000-06:00

If two times two is always four.......What good is it????

An Apology Would Be Good.....

2007-03-03T00:12:00.000-06:00

I read something interesting a bit ago. It seems that at the legislative update today one of our Senators opened his discussion with an apology. In the state of the world today I think every political leader should be compelled to do that. Just say "hello, my name is Senator so and so, and by the way....I am really sorry." Why do I say that you ask. Because they owe us an apology. They all do. Now I know this Senator personally. I know his wife. I was there when she won her city council seat by drawing a number from a hat. Yes thats right. The election was so close they held a run off and that was a tie so they drew numbers from a hat. She drew the number one. Now thats how you hold an election. Remember that game on the Price is Right where contestants drew numbers from a bag while avoiding the red tiles with the black letter X. I think we should elect presidents that way. First one to draw the tile with the Presidential seal wins. I mean there is no difference anyway. All politicians are the same. They are for or against whatever the hot topic at the time is and that is pretty much it. I think we should have elected John Kerry. So what if he was a "waffler", we all are. We want better education, schools and hospitals but no taxes. We want hamburgers and fries and the right to sue when they make us fat. We want politicians that will lie to get what we want as long as they don't lie to us. We want salvation but not religion,(and yes there is a difference). Yep, he should have been President. At least he was one of us. So ladies and gentleman living in the land of the free and the home of the fried Twinkie, don't you think it would be refreshing if at the next state of the union address, the President opened with "My Fellow Americans.......Man I'm really Sorry."

Word of The Day....

2007-03-01T17:46:00.000-06:00

Fiscal Responsibility: The knowledge that you must make more money than you spend and that spending must be done on a carefully planned basis. Doctors believe that we have a gene that activates in our DNA somewhere around the age of seventeen that allows us to realize that we must have fiscal responsibility. Doctors at the Mayo Clinic recently discovered that this gene can only be removed by winning the lottery or being elected to public office in the small town of Monticello Arkansas.

Word Of The Day....

2007-02-27T23:12:00.000-06:00

A new daily feature here will be the word of the day. I will give you a word and it's definition as it pertains specifically to Monticello and Drew County. Today's Word: "Industry" Definition: What local leaders are sworn from birth to prevent from ever wanting to locate here. See also "what keeps a town alive" see also "hey wouldn't that infusion of tax dollars be great"

New Features

2007-02-27T22:58:00.000-06:00

You will notice new features. Replacing the things that make me laugh links to the right will now be links to blogs that I read and comment on regularly. When I find a blog that has creative, intelligent and pertinent posts they will be placed here. They have my personal thumbs up, and that just might mean something if you know me at all. Also the use of profanity will no longer be necessary (if it ever really was) after discussions with some people tonight it is time to make a difference. The gloves are off, I hope you can handle it.

I Just Don't Know Anymore

2007-02-27T21:57:00.000-06:00

I have been thinking about the decline of our nation as a whole, and I can see some patterns that have developed that might explain some of it. When I was growing up if you messed up at a neighbor’s house you got your "rear end" tore up, then you got one from all the neighbors between the original infraction location and your home, and when you finally made it home your mother was on the porch with the phone with the 25 feet long curly cord and you could hear her talking to the neighbor at which you began this journey and she would be making plans for yet another "whipping". Now I did not get many of these when I was young but the few I did get I remember very well. When did spanking your child become abuse? When was it "OK " for your child to call social services after they received said "whipping" and turn you the parent in. When did we start having to give the school system permission to discipline children. I must have missed it. Was there a memo sent out that I was not told about. I remember the days when if you screwed up at school you were spanked with a board. It was renamed a "paddle" but basically it was a short boat oar. I remember the foreboding sound of the pop of the paddle outside of the class room because unless you were in the class where the infraction occurred you did not know it was coming until the first "pop." I remember how skilled some of the teachers had become by giving a little up angle to the "paddle" and hooking you right under the butt cheek where it would lift you up a little. What about the days when by the sound of the pop and speed between "licks" you could tell what teacher was administering the usually well deserved punishment. I read a story today about neighbor that disciplined a child for shooting her dog and blinding it. She gave the young man a few smacks to the rump and was shot twice by the boy’s mother less than an hour later. She was not seriously injured but yet the stupidity of it is beyond measure. I am not saying beat them, but for goodness sake. I see people in the store with children that are acting up, which has now been changed to "acting out", to allow for drug companies to charge you for pills to control your children so you do not have too, and hear other parents saying under their breath "I would tear {him or her} up." No you wouldn’t. I think I have spanked my oldest daughter once in her life, She can tell you what day it happened and why it happened, and it was many years ago, and henceforth both of my children are getting wonderful grades in school and have never been disciplined verbally or otherwise in school. But they know this, There are standing orders at their schools for discipline whether it be the paddle or otherwise. And interestingly enough, after a little and I mean a very little explanation, they understand why. Another thing is that everyone the history books teaches our children to respect lies to them and they know it. Presidents, political leaders, even religious leaders. In the information age it is easy for our children and ourselves to find truth. If their was television or internet when Franklin Roosevelt was running for president, would the people have elected a President in a wheelchair? Interestingly enough the modus operandi of the common Humanus Americanus(yeah I made that up) is to investigate after the fact. Try getting ahead of the game every once in a while. Open your eyes, close your mouth, and learn something now and then. They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks. That is a good thing and a bad thing. The bad thing is that it is hard for us to change the way we do things. The good thing is that those who need to be scrutinized have a hard time changing the way they do things too.

I Just Don't Understand

2007-02-25T23:36:00.000-06:00

I just left a comment on a post at monticellolive, and I have just got to say this. Have we come so dependent on whatever government we choose to believe is in control around here that we can not even prepare to save our own skins. Now I don't know much about anything, just ask anyone, but I do know that self-preservation is right up their on my "to-do" list. A comment was posted wondering why we do not have a warning system in Monticello for tornadoes. Now I do not know what happened to the siren that we used to have. I admit that, but this is a brave new world. For very little money you can purchase a small device that will scream "get under your house" if a storm is coming. I have one, you should too. Now my reason for having one is less desperate. Storms don't bother me. If you look in the top right corner you will see that. I do however remember the day when a tornado dropped a house on my sister........."insert vague Wizard of Oz what the heck is he talking about reference here--------->. Thanks by the way to the folks at Dad's Place for great coffee and company on Saturday. I really enjoyed it. Now back to what I was saying, it is not the responsibility of the fire department to provide you with fire extinguishers and smoke alarms, even though they do sometimes, and it is not their responsibility to change the battery for you every thirty days. You must......no let me rephrase......it is your responsibility as a citizen to take responsibility for yourself now and then. You will change the oil in your car, that costs more than one of these devices. You will go out to eat, that costs more, of course so does a gallon or two of gas these days. Some say if God wants me he will get me no matter what precaution I take. To you I leave this:

A man was caught in a flood. As the water got up to his porch a man came by in a boat and asked him to come with him. The trapped man said "the Lord will save me"
As the water got to the edge of the roof another boat came and once again the man said "the Lord will save me"
Soon the water was above the roof and the man was barely hanging on, a helicopter hovered overhead and the man screamed "THE LORD WILL SAVE ME"
After drowning the man went to heaven and asked the Lord why he didn't save him and the Lord said "I sent two boats and a helicopter"

In other words........well, you know the rest.

Ahh To Be Young.

2007-02-24T10:24:00.000-06:00

I am sitting here watching a game of darts. Now I know you are saying to yourself, "why would anyone watch darts?" Believe it or not it is rather interesting even if I don't understand exactly what is going on. There are two lanes and four people and I can only assume they accumulate points between the two of members of the team. The interesting thing is that is good clean fun. That is something that you do not see very often anymore. People walk by outside and look in and they see good clean fun happening and they don't exactly know what to do or say. You can see it in their eyes. I am witnessing teenagers and adults playing darts with each other and having fun. Can it be possible. Is it voodoo. I must continue to investigate. After many years in the media I have become a student of everything around me. I watch people and their reactions to what is going on around them and how they react to different situations that they encounter. This is what I live for. For the record, I don't get out of the house much as many of you already know. I suppose this is my first adventure out in several weeks. Feels pretty good actually.

A Long Absence..

2007-02-24T09:50:00.000-06:00

I take this opportunity to say hello to everyone that I have been neglecting lately by not writing. I apologize, but I have returned with a new energy and am ready to rock and roll. As I sit here drinking a wonderful latte from Dad's Place, I am feeling better every minute. I am however trying to decide whether to take the blog in a new direction. What direction that is I am yet unsure but oh well, this is a spur of the moment thing anyway. Hello once again to "journeyguy" hope everything is going well and I very well may take you up on your offer for a visit one Sunday. As for now I am going to catch up on some news and see what I can write about today. I am feeling a little saucy today.

Check Out This...

2007-01-28T20:49:00.000-06:00

Below you will find a video of several opening scenes from CSI Miami. Is it me or does the sun get brighter almost every time David Caruso lets go with one of his famous one liners. It seems to require sunglasses even in scenes when you notice that it is raining. Oh well, everyone needs a hook because "it's the hook that brings you back". I guess you are all to young to remember Blues Traveler also. Oh yeah, I have gotten a few emails on how to start the video on my site. How about clicking the giant play button in the middle of the video window you &#@!##$%%%$#@%$^^^&^%$#$$##@Q!@!@#$%%^^&^***(* (previous editing done for the sake of journeyguy, don't think he needed to hear all that.)

Just One More Thought

2007-01-28T20:00:00.000-06:00

The city council also voted to increase the Mayor's spending limit form ten to twenty thousand dollars. Just in case you were wondering that means he can now by a house without telling anyone, or a car, or two compact cars, 453,286 ZAGNUT bars (man those things are tasty), all this without permission, bidding, or even having to tell you he is doing it. Now I do not personally know our new Mayor, I would like to meet him, but the track record of Monticello Mayor's spending money on their own is rather cloudy. How are those water hyacinths coming along? Or are you all to young to remember?

The Pool And Other Random Shenanigans

2007-01-28T19:19:00.000-06:00

What can I say in the age of not wanting to spend money on projects like the hospital, when I see money being spent on the swimming pool. Will this thing ever pay for itself? Sorry by the way for not posting on the weekly newspaper sooner but my time has been rather cramped as of late but things seem to be getting better. Now, back to the show. According to our local newspaper editor the lovely and alluring Beverly Burks(where did Rambo go?) and I am not kidding I think she is attractive and would not dare to speak to her because she is so far out of my league it isn't even funny and I don't know if she is married, blah blah yadda yadda, the city of Monticello is prepared to spend 268,000 to repair the city pool.

Now that long pause was to let that sink in for a moment. 268,000 dollars. And the really interesting thing is the next line stating that the exact amount needed has not yet been determined. Now I know that in the world of construction and contracting that more often you get money back after the work is completed than having to pay more (yeah in fantasy land) so the fact is that this might not be over yet. what would 268,000 dollars buy for a hospital? How many police officers would get radios, weapons, computers, that would help them protect us? How many firefighters would get new turnouts, and hey how about a raise in the volunteer fireman's pay. When I was there you got ten dollars for a structure fire and five dollars for everything else. It may be different now but it can't be that much different. Oh and by the way I posted several weeks ago about there being "zero grade" on the playing fields at the new sports complex. I see that this week they are trying to solve the mystery of water standing on the baseball fields. "HELLO!!!!!" The heating didn't work either because everyone knows that if you have a car that the air conditioning doesn't work in you sell it in the winter and the reverse goes true for the heat. Who checks the heat in the summer to make sure its working? Someone who isn't a complete idiot that is who. Who are these people that our running our great city? Ask yourself some questions. Who has the termite "contract" for city property? Why do some police officers check the door of my parent's store and not mine?(The buildings are actually the same building with a wall separating and the front doors 15 feet apart). What dentists are city employees "preferred" to use? Why is the sky blue? Interestingly enough I can answer that last one. You see honey the light from the sun travels through our atmosphere and is reflected by..........Well, you know the rest.

When seasons Change:

2007-01-28T18:15:00.000-06:00

When we ponder the difference between the seasons of our planet we must at some time realize that they are not unlike the seasons of ourselves. Summer coming on fast, one day the temperature is mild, almost pleasant and the next burning like the youth of the early teen, passion and indecision rule us. Winter with its bitterness and hate of the colors of what we are bleaches the landscape of our lives in dull brown hues making everything look alike. Fall coloring our lives in the richest of God’s majesty as if giving us memories in which to fill our time, lest we forget what life really looks like. Spring, creeping, stealthy, but none the less a miracle. Everything destroyed, everything forgotten becomes new again. Our minds fill with wonder as we are lifted into our youth once again and we remember a time when we too experienced everything for the first time. I suppose that at some times in our lives we have all experienced these feelings, these-----seasons in one way or another. In our own way we all see them differently I am sure. In the bitter of winter I find once again a change of seasons. I have seen a hint of color in the dull hues of the cold but it, as many things often are, was fleeting. Now I am left to wonder whether or not spring is bringing on itself or will I have to search it out this time. I am not sure what season I am in right now. I see light, I see color, but I feel the cold and I wonder where the road is taking me, but that does not stop me from traveling

No Title...

2007-01-28T16:18:00.000-06:00

Why is it that the words we write for ourselves, are always better than the words we write for others. I am writing a book. I have been working on this book for two years. I have never told anyone that I am undertaking this endeavor, because I have not decided as of yet whether the book is for me or for others. I have always wanted to create something. Whether good or bad something that I can look back at and say that I accomplished. I find myself up late at night writing. I started writing by hand and have since moved in to the computer age. I don't know why I felt I needed to say that. I don't go back and read what I have written and hae never printed as much as one page. Sometimes I just don't understand.

Searching.

2007-01-23T17:46:00.000-06:00

I am on a quest. Yes on a quest to discover what religion I am. Yes I believe in God and Jesus. Yes I believe in the Bible. Let me give you some background. I was "raised up" in church. I went to church at Second Baptist one weekend and the Church of Christ the next weekend. So what I guess I am saying is that I believe I am the only one going to heaven and when I get to heaven there is going to be a potluck in the fellowship hall after the morning service. Really, I don't know. I have been to a few churches since I moved back here, but I haven't found a church "home". I am neither Baptist nor Church of Christ or anything else that I can see and it is really beginning to bother me that I do not have a denomination to call myself. Of course I have only attended services anywhere twice in two years so I also must wonder how hard am I really looking? I would like to be a part of a church family. I have no friends here or anyone that I know really well. I left my cell phone at home by accident when I went out of town this weekend and did not miss one call. How sad is that? The interesting thing is the difference in churches from when I was young to now. I live right beside a church. It is twenty feet away. Now when I was young if someone new moved in to the neighborhood near the church usually someone came over and invited you. I am not saying that I will go but it is the principal of the thing. Have religious leaders become as complacent as our political leaders? Are they happy with things the way they are? Or, are there just so many people that need a religious "talkin to" that they just haven't gotten around to me yet? Probably a little bit of all of it I suppose.

Is That All?

2007-01-17T21:01:00.000-06:00

In reading the paper today expecting to find a wealth of issues to post about, I came to realize something. Does nothing happen here? The local paper is filled with warm lighthearted advertisements but no real news. Editorials yes, news... not really. I find it interesting as a former and sometimes current news person myself that the folks over at monticellolive.com, seem to have a better handle on reporting news than the local news media. They had the swimming pool discussion days ago, a great story about Mr. Rosegrant, and news from UAM as well. The local paper....not so much. Now normally I do not purchase a newspaper I just read through the copy that my dad leaves out in his store for "folks". Now I know why. Heck even their headlines are more attention grabbing, "Pool Issue Makes Waves". Now that grabs you from the word go, you can tell that's going to be a page turner. Now I doubt that monticellolive has many if any "reporters" on the staff, but that doesn't stop them from reporting. Do I really care who got found guilty of what in the last few weeks? Unless its a murderer, rapist, or other infamous criminal...not really. If you notice from the newspaper anyway we are living in the land of the suspended sentence. Old "so and so" was found guilty of manufacturing methamphetamine they received a suspended sentence, a slap on the wrist, and a fine they will never pay unless they go back to making and selling methamphetamine. It is as if the judges are telling the criminals "stop.........or I'll say stop again". Oh, by the way, the " gossip" on the street is that the city is looking in to or already has acquired the old Ridgeway Hotel in the hopes of making it into city offices. I guess they will be moving their offices from the newly renovated W.C. Whaley school complex......they did move in there after they bought it----------right???

Hey....That Made Me Think.

2007-01-17T18:09:00.000-06:00

My last post made me realize something. I was not living here when the idea was started to build a sports complex here in Monticello. Was there a tax passed to pay for that? If there was not never mind. If there was, "HELLO"!!!! We will pass a tax for some ground to play ball on but won't consider passing one so when we need a hospital we have one to go to that can treat us for more than a couple of days before the send us away from our families and loved ones (without us having a choice in the matter). Am I the only one that thinks this is absolutely nuts. Another thing.... What is going on with the building out near the fairgrounds that the MEDC and the city built to sell to industry. All I can see is an empty building with a dirt floor. It seems to me that it would have been less expensive to buy the land and clear it then have an architect draw up several different sets of plans and let the industry pick the one they want to build. I'm not sure it would be as easy to sell a pre-fab building to new industry when usually no two companies need the same design in their building. Some need more office less industrial. Some need office industrial and shipping. well...you know the rest.

What A Wonderful Idea....

2007-01-17T17:38:00.000-06:00

Reading the local paper this week I must say bravo to our new Mayor. It is finally time that someone started downsizing the local government. Why do we need a parks and recreation commission? We have only two parks and very little recreation. What ever happened the the camping areas and the playgrounds that were supposed to be readily available at Lake Monticello? Of course everyone knows that one of the reasons for building Lake Monticello was to be an alternate water supply for the city. We have wonderful concrete supports for those pipes that were to be installed but as far as I can see there still are no pipes. The city has recently spent lots of money on things that will never pay for themselves and looking at the price tag for the repairs to the city pool another project is underway. Now not being a sports fan I will never appreciate the new "city sports complex built in Wilmar", but I do understand that you don't build something like that in South Arkansas with "Zero" slope to the ground. If anyone has taken notice water stands there like it was Lake Monticello and with all the fancy curbs built around the perimeter why don't we just make that the new city pool. But, these are issues that have been inherited by our new Mayor, not proposed by him and that is a very important fact to remember. So, "BRAVO MAYOR". Now, lets see about condensing the MEDC and the Chamber of Commerce into one agency with one supervisor. If I remember correctly they are "supposed" to be doing the same thing anyway. I believe that is why they call it a Chamber of "Commerce".

HUH????

2007-01-15T15:02:00.000-06:00

I was reading the Monticello newspaper recently and noticed that a new Miss Monticello has been crowned. Now maybe I am old fashioned. Maybe I am crazy and just don't understand the pageant itself. Should the Miss Monticello winner at least have to be from Monticello? Read the headline very slowly and how silly it is will really sink in. Everyone knows that most people read the entire headline and absorb only the first two or three words of it. Miss blankety blank of Warren crowned Miss Monticello 2007. Can we not find a young lady in Monticello worthy of being Miss Monticello. I guess it just goes with the way the rest of the world is going. Importing more than we are exporting. Out-sourcing jobs. It's the republicans, it's their fault we don't have a Miss Monticello from Monticello. Rise up in the lunchrooms and stab them with your plastic "SPORK". Don't know what a SPORK is? Jeez people.

To Someone I Have Never Met.

2007-01-15T13:42:00.000-06:00

Jeff Noble.... the last name says it all. I have had a few correspondences with Mr. Noble, and I must say his intelligence is rather frightening. You Mr. Noble are not one of the herd. You have found your own fertile grazing and have staked a claim. Bravo to you sir. Bravo. Oh, I am still considering your suggestion by the way, but I am one of those people who will carry an item around the store while I am shopping before I buy it. Sometimes I talk myself out of it, sometimes I don't.

Something I Know About...

2007-01-15T13:13:00.000-06:00

I have had many requests through email and other sources to post about some of my political views and a little more about myself. I have also received comments from people that I have known for years saying that since I began this little endeavor they know more about me than they ever did. Well, thats great. Please understand that there are things that I can say here that I cannot say anywhere else. It is not that many of you do not know who I am, most of you probably do. I have never been a person comfortable about expressing himself and this site has become an outlet that allows me to do just that. I have been working with computers and graphic design for many years and have never felt that I have created anything that I can be proud of. When I was directing the news team at my last place of employment I won several awards, awards for covering a teacher contract dispute, union disputes and the war on drugs. I was always there when something was happening and sometimes as it happened. Even then I never felt that I had done anything to help anyone. There are many beliefs that I have that you may agree with, and there are many you probably will not agree with. I will comment weekly on local news items as well as word on the street type information. I have a rather interesting inside line on some issues facing Monticello which I will not discuss here but please understand I have just recently returned to my hometown and am still trying to catch up. I do believe that the hospital tax should go to the voters and should be passed. I covered a similar event in my last job and can tell you that you do not want a "Critical Access Facility ". If you do not know what that means I suggest you find out because if something is not done that is what you will have. Do you want a care facility that can only hold you for four days before having to transfer you or your loved one to Little Rock? Please research for yourself. I do not ask you to take my word for it. Do not be the sheep following the herd, you can find fertile grazing just fine on your own. Do not follow those who are comfortable with the "status-quo" they are driven by fear and fear brings the silence of a community and complacency of its leaders. We have a chance to do something right for a change.....Well, you know the rest.

I Paid For The Privilege.....

2007-01-15T08:10:00.000-06:00

My stepmother and I went to eat a local Mexican eatery last night......Oh God am I sick this morning. I feel as if someone has put one of those aliens in my stomach and it has matured and is trying to get out. Not sure whether it was the food or something that was on the way and I was just unaware. Whatever it is though, I can tell you that I want it to go away. Someone come over here and make it go away. It won't listen to me...maybe it will listen to you. And, the funny thing is I paid for our meal....Yes, I paid for the privilege of feeling like this. Guess that will learn me.

Even More New Content...

2007-01-14T21:43:00.000-06:00

In the attempt to make this the most awesome blog ever I present to you even more new content. To the right you will see a link named SNAPSHOTS: These are random shots taken by my camera as the day goes by(not much to see when I'm not here). Another is the LIVE FEED link. This is a link to a live feed from my webcam. Coming soon: Live Monticello Weathercam....

Alas It Is As I Thought...

2007-01-13T14:40:00.000-06:00

Yes the folks at Monticello Live will not be linking me to their site for obvious reasons, unless of course I edit the content of my blog and so forth and so on. Hats off to those guys for sticking with they believe in their hearts to be the right thing to do. You have earned my admiration and respect for that. After careful consideration however, I feel that I will be unable to edit the content of my blog. I have been a journalist for many years and directed news teams at radio stations and print media all over the state and this is the first opportunity I have to be honest about the way "I" feel about things. I don't believe that I would be doing the right thing for me if I edited my content. As for monticellolive.com.....keep reading it, it is wonderful. I know I will. Congratulations MonticelloLive you have my full support and respect.

Monticello Has A Blog.

2007-01-13T09:07:00.001-06:00

Yes ladies and gentleman Monticello has just broken through the door of the 21st century. I am speaking of Monticello's very own and informative "cityblog." (I think I just made that word up but not sure I will get back to you on that). I will be posting a link to the site on my blog for those of you who are interested. I will say that the site is very informative has interesting articles, opinions, and even some online polls for those of you who are in to that sort of thing. If you have a blog you can even ask them to link it on their site. I will be asking them but I do not believe the content of my site is what they are looking for but never the less they deserve kudos and celebration. Oh and good morning to all my readers, I hope the three of you are feeling well this morning.

There are just some things....

2007-01-12T21:24:00.000-06:00

Sometimes there are things that just need to be said.....

Dear Secretary: While I do appreciate everything you do for me, really, there are a few things I need to get off my chest. Please take a memo. Or something.

1. i can't tell you how fucking irritating it is that you always type your emails in lower case. we all learned in first grade that the first letter of a sentence is always capitalized, names are capitalized, and when referring to yourself, "i" is capitalized. you're a secretary for christ's sake. nobody, especially you, is that fucking busy to make one extra mother-fucking keystroke to properly punctuate.

2. In the same vein: Please, quit using the asshat Smiley Face, Wink Face, Sad Face, or Crying Face characters in your emails. I am going to walk over to your cubicle and Kick You In The Face if you persist with using those stupid little emoticons or whatever the fuck they're called. The last thing I want to see in your email is some retarded yellow blob, bouncing up and down with its eyes bugging out, and its tongue wagging at me. Knock that shit off. We're grown adults. It's embarrassing. Really.

3. I don't care, and really don't want to hear, about your personal health issues. I understand you are getting a little long in the tooth these days, and have scheduled more doctor appointments than that fucking boy in the bubble. Honestly, I don't really care. What bothers me is that you felt compelled to explain how the gynecologist kept you in stirrups for "hours" with your clothes off. I really did not need to visualize your saggy, white cottage cheese-ass and varicose-veined legs pinned up, spread eagle into the air. That was so very, very wrong of you to burn such a vile image into the deep recesses of my ganglia. Shame on you.

4. You are _right outside_ my office door. You have a cubicle, which is generally not conducive to keeping conversations private. When you're on the phone, making personal calls, guess what? I can hear you. Again, I'm not a hard ass, and I could give a shit if you make personal calls. But if you're going to talk TO YOUR DAUGHTER about how badly you need "dick" (and I'm not talking about Richard, either) -- please do it somewhere else. Although I understand that women over 55 need sex too, the thought of you getting "dick" in any shape or form, honestly, makes me want to hurl. For all that is good and sacred, please stop.

5. I don't do the hiring or the firing here, and I don't have anything to do with how much money you make. So don't complain to me. I realize you have a car payment and rent. Guess what? So does almost everyone else, sweets. Make it work. Maybe instead of buying out the Macy's make-up department and using every known cosmetic cover-up known to mankind, perhaps you could use some of that money for your bills? Hmmmm. Just a thought.

6. You're a short, pudgy woman. God cursed you and holy shit do you hold a grudge. But you don't have to make it up for it by playing Hitler around here to the rest of the staff. In particular, there is the hot little number they just hired in accounting, and already, she's complained about the way you've been treating her. God help you if she quits because of you. I have never been happier coming to work these last few weeks, lusting after this particular hottie like a sex-starved teenager. Don't screw it up or I'll take away your computer and force you to use carbon paper and that old manual typewriter in the storage room. Good luck surfing the 'net on that puppy.

7. Last, but certainly not least, BRUSH YOUR TEETH. Oh. My. God. What in the holy fuck do you eat in the morning? Onion and garlic sandwiches with a side of shit? Within 30 seconds of you arriving here each morning, those horrific, hell-sent mutant molecules from your disgusting piehole find their way into my office, mounting a full-on assault. I brace myself, because I know within moments you will step foot into my office, spouting your fog of pure evil into my face, forcing me to internally chant "smells like roses ... smells like roses ... smells like roses" to keep you from wearing my breakfast burrito all over the front of your blouse. All this could be prevented with a $3 Oral B and some fucking Colgate. Please. I beg you. Brush those things.

Okay, that should do it. Thanks.

New Content

2007-01-12T17:56:00.000-06:00

Be sure to check out the bottom of the page for the new IDIOT of the week video brought to you by the folks at Break.com. A link to their full page can be found under my links to "Lots of Funny Stuff. Be cool kids..and remember. Christopher Walken is a god.

Wrap Up.

2007-01-12T17:13:00.000-06:00

Well this week is wrapping up and I can't say that it has been a stellar performance on my part. Work pretty much sucks, personal life seems to be ok but who really knows, and now there is going to be a warm weekend and its going to freaking rain all weekend. What am I cursed. Wait....we have already established that I am cursed, and I probably would not leave the house if it wasn't raining. Oh well...whats a lonely boy to do??

Another Lonely Day

2007-01-07T17:23:00.000-06:00

Well it has been another lonely day here at the ranch. I guess I can say it is my own fault. When you are around the house all day you have a problem meeting people. Saw some friends from long ago yesterday. It was interesting, I had been thinking about an old friend of mine from school and had even searched for this person on the internet Friday Night with no luck. Out of the blue on Saturday my friends parents walk in to a store where I am. Now that does not seem interesting I know but they don't live here anymore, no where near here in fact, and I haven't seen them in sixteen years. I now have information to contact my friend. Interesting what happens when you leave the apartment, even if it was only two blocks away. Tomorrow is another work day of course and I am beginning to get more comfortable in my new job. Still not sure if I like it but I am more comfortable. I pretty much work alone so I guess that is right up my alley. For those of you reading and not leaving comments, at least leave one telling me where you are from or email me and let me know how you happened upon my little slice of boredom. Ahh well, the self loathing continues until next time.

What Is It???

2007-01-06T17:30:00.000-06:00

WARNING: The following post contains stereotypes and other things that you will not understand if you are not from the south.

Fried Twinkies. Yes, thats right fried Twinkies. Leave it to the south once again to take something with no nutritional value whatsoever and roll it in batter and deep fry it in oil. I had the luxury of partaking in one of these cholesterol laden inventions and I must say that at least we in the south do it right when we do it. Also, fried Snickers Bars. Oh lord what heaven. Now those of you that know me already are aware that I am not the smallest guy in the world, but I used to be much bigger and have been trying to eat healthier but I just could not resist. It's no wonder that Americans are constantly getting more obese. Americans are getting so fat that they have added words like "morbidly" to obese to describe just how large we are getting. Our children recieve reports of their weight with their grades and every day there is some article or periodical talking about how we are getting larger. Only in America do we have to buy two airplane tickets for one person because we are so large. We produce so much excess fat from frying foods that we have figured out a way to use it for fuel in our cars. Welcome to the home of "super size it" because I just can't get enough food with a normal portion of deep fried death that I would normally order. I understand most of you wonder why anyone would even think of the things that I write here. But I say to you, someone has to think about it. So I will leave you for now....I need to finish my Twinkie.

I Freakin Told You and You Wouldn't Listen

2007-01-06T12:23:00.000-06:00

You know I’m not exactly sure when people are going to start listening to me. Please refer to earlier post entitled The New Year for a background. Thanks to the folks at Fox News for this little tidbit. Oh, and by the way……I freakin told you. I guess we know now that Victoria’s Secret is KEVLAR!!!

ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. — One woman discovered on New Year's Eve that her bra could do more than lift and support when a falling bullet was halted by the bra strap on her left shoulder.
Debbie Bingham, 46, an Atlanta resident visiting family in St. Petersburg, said her gold-colored bra slowed the falling bullet during the holiday celebrations.
Her injuries may have been much more severe had it not been for her bra strap, said George Kajtsa, spokesman for the St. Petersburg Police Department.
Bingham says she was outside with her daughter and son, ringing in the New Year and viewing the local fireworks display when she felt a sharp pain in her left shoulder at 11:40 p.m.
It was Bingham's daughter, Solanda Bingham, 30, who first noticed the blood seeping through her mother's white shirt.
"We were sitting at the picnic table and listening to music and my mom said, 'Ow,"' the daughter said.
The daughter said she looked over and saw the blood and shouted "My mother's been shot. My mother's been shot."
The bullet was halfway inside of Bingham's bra, and the other half barely breaking the skin, Bingham later told WTSP-TV.
Someone had fired a gun into the air and as the .45-caliber bullet fell back to earth, Bingham was struck. Kajtsa described the wound as a "big scratch with bruising."
Bingham was taken to Bayfront Medical Center in St. Petersburg where she was given five stitches. The bullet was lodged in the bra strap and was cut out by doctors.
St. Petersburg police are still searching for the shooter to determine if Bingham was the target of the gunfire or if she was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time, Kajtsa said.
Shooting a weapon inside the city limits is a misdemeanor with a maximum fine of $1,000 and up to one year in jail, Kajtsa said.
As for Bingham, she said she is just thankful for her bra.
"It was a very cheap bra. It wasn't very expensive, and I'd love to have a couple more of those bras," she told WTSP.

One thing I Know About Life

2007-01-03T19:41:00.000-06:00

There is very little that I know about life. I admit this freely. I have spent time today pondering the meaning of life. It is truly an interesting thing life. It has ups and downs, twists and turns, but overall I guess things could be worse. After all the pondering and wondering I came to a conclusion. The one thing I know about life is none of us are getting out of it alive.

I Just Can't Think of Anything...

2007-01-02T18:17:00.000-06:00

I just can't think of anything to write about. Nothing exciting or breathtaking happened in my little world today. I did wonder earlier how long the Presidential funeral was going to last. It's gone on so long now that people are passing out in front of the coffin. I mean really he was a great guy and all and Chevy Chase owes his career to the fact that President Ford was quite clumsy, but come on enough already. An Arkansas man found a diamond in Crater of Diamonds state park weighing over two carats, he named it the Star of Thelma (do I really need to comment here?). I find it interesting news that Iraqis are protesting the handling of Saddam Hussein's execution. Interestingly a couple of years ago if they had protested it would be their hangings on Iraqi television. Once again Your welcome oppressed people of the world. My new job is not near as exciting as I had hoped it would be. I must say honestly that I am disappointed, but not much I can do about it. To be honest I thought 2007 was going to be my year, but so far not really feeling it. The repairman came and looked at the roof today and said there was nothing wrong with it, of course other than the fact that it isn't waterproof anymore which I think is a big issue (I may be wrong about that of course, nowhere in the definition of roof does it say anything about being waterproof I just assumed.) I had been trying to remember the actual title to the theme from the tv series M.A.S.H. , last night I was up late in another in many recurring self-loathing periods when the original movie came on, the name of the song is Suicide is Painless. Believe it or not the song actually has lyrics, they never sing the lyrics on the tv show only on the movie, I suggest you illegaly download it as soon as possible, it's worth a listen. The weather is supposed to get bad as the week goes on, be sure to check out a new link on my blog entitled "local radar" it is realtime radar for Arkansas and is very accurate, it's in the top left corner under the website title. Wow to have nothing to say this post suddenly became rather lengthy.

I Wonder

2006-12-31T20:21:00.000-06:00

I wonder how they handle handicapped parking at the special olympics? Do they just stack hundreds of cars one on top of the other in those couple of spots right near the stadium entrance.

Theoretical Downhill Crap Running

2006-12-31T14:52:00.000-06:00

I have been watching a discussion on the grocery tax this morning and reading some opinions and have discovered that I am against repealing the grocery tax. If you have no clue what I am speaking of please let me explain.......no there is too much....let me sum up. The winning candidate for Governor this year plans to repeal Arkansas' grocery tax. It is the six percent state tax that every Arkansan pays at the grocery store before local taxes are added and so on and so on. Let me explain my position which has a few valid points. Number One: Your grocery bill will not be smaller. How is this possible you say? Do you think that Wal-Mart, Hoggly Woggly, or anyone else is going to pass the chance to increase grocery prices five to six percent without you noticing. I doubt it. Number Two: It is the only fair tax in the world. Rich pay the same, poor pay the same, everybody pays the same amount. Please tell me if you can think of another tax that no matter how much or little you make everyone pays the same amount. It's fair. Number Three: Where is the revenue the state gets from groceries going to come from now? We currently have a budget surplus in our state and our soon to be new Governor seems to think that it will last forever,WRONG!!! In a year or so when the price of your hunting and or fishing license goes up and the price of state permits for land leases and personal property taxes increase and you notice that suddenly you are not getting any money back from the state at tax time anymore call me and I will come to your house and personally tell you I told you so. Number Four: You will lose money in the long run. When there is no revenue to fix roads you can't dodge every pothole so you buy tires which includes a fee that you are charged by the retailer to dispose of the tires (which comes from the state charging them for the luxury of taking your worn out tires), that fee will increase. The state gives grants to rural communities for fire departments, those grants will decrease less rural fire departments will be established and insurance rates that have been on the decline because of the creation of fire departments closer to rural residents will begin to increase again, and so on and so forth. Folks, crap runs downhill and if you haven't noticed lately you the consumer are not only at the bottom of that hill but you are in a open hole at the bottom of that hill. Get ready the crap is going to be joining you in the hole very soon.